A sad and lonely heart

Firts of all, if this story refers in any way to another story on Wattpad I didn't do this on purpose. I am just a beginning writer with an idea. So no hate;) Hey everybody, this is my first story that I actually uploaded, so please be kind ;);) Just kidding (not about the first story part), comment whatever you like, as long as it's not too harsh. Also let me know what my writing is like (in that way I can improve and upload a better story for you next time)!  This is my first short-story as well, so let me know how you like it! I know it's a very dark and a bit weird story and I usually don't write like that, but I felt like trying something new (woot woot for my sense of adventure huh? ^_^)  (fans and votes and follows and such are always appreciated:) if you want me to check out your account, just leave a comment) Anyway, happy reading and I hope you like it!

A SAD AND LONELY HEART

My sister and I never looked much alike. Even though we were born at almost the same time. She has the beautiful, slim and elegant body that I could only hope for. I have never been mothers best, instead I have as much curves as an asparagus, way too many freckles all over my body and a nose that’s so crooked that it looks like it’s been broken at least two times (which it never has). Further more our personalities are totally different. She is sweet and kind and selfless, while I am the girl that always sits at the back end of the class with her hood up, hating her for her perfection with an attitude that oozes “grumpy, don’t come any closer”. Speaking of the devil, there she is, striding into the living room with her beautiful friends. ‘Hey barb, do you know where the vacuüm cleaner is?’ Always that smile, as if everything in her life is just perfect. ‘No, I don't.’ I mumble as I walk up to my room. Those kind of girls aren’t really my scene. My scene is filled with darkness, no fun or laughter or people looking at you as you walk by just to take in your appearance, having desperate hopes of catching some of your beauty. The only light in my life is FOB (if you have absolutely no idea of who I’m talking about, then you’re not even worth listening to their music). I turn the sound up until the point where it’s no longer possible and snuggle under the covers, sinking away in my own thoughts.

~

‘Why would anyone like you?’ My mother advances with a smug look on her face. ‘Yeah, who would want somebody so ugly? I don’t even understand how you live with yourself, I mean, look at you! You’re an absolute mess.’ My sister pushes me to the ground, right in the dirty corner of the room. ‘I wish you were more like you sister, at least she’s got the looks.’ The three of them laugh evilly at my fathers comment. All of a sudden they throw handfuls of dirt at me. On my head and in my face, I even feel a worm creeping into my mouth. And while I try to get it out, it doesn’t work. The mud keeps coming. A mound of it buries my legs, so I can’t escape. I start screaming but that only fills my mouth and lungs with more mud, so much that it’s difficult to breathe. ‘Now you’re in your proper place, just where you belong.’ And with that my family walks away laughing hysterically, leaving me there to die.

~

As soon as I hear the chorus of Phoenix screaming in my ears, I know I’m awake. Yet I cannot completely shake the feeling of extreme loneliness off of me. I know it was just a nightmare, but it made sense. Why would anyone want me? I only mean to say, I am just a waste of oxygen that could better be used by someone that actually has a goal in life. I’m not even useful for reproduction, no guy in his right mind would take me. Not even the rapists would. I mould it over and over again as my hand slips under the covers, giving myself some satisfaction at least. I moan a bit as my body starts vibrating, but I realise that it’s not enough. Look at me, just a pitiful girl that has nothing more that music and masturbation to keep her company. I jerk my hand back, having had enough of it. Not only of the sexual frustration, it’s my whole existence. Then I remember my way out. I almost run to the bathroom as I think of it.

Twelve pills left in the jar, that should be enough.

Soooo, how did you like it? Let me know! As I said earlier, leave a comment on anything you want to say or ask and fans, votes, comments and such are always appreciated;) The song on the side is Phoenix by Fall Out Boy, I don't listen a lot to them, but I came across this song and it was pretty good:) xx MsMcGonagall