The True Price of Silence

Doubt

~This is a personal story that has developed throughout the year, so please can you leave a comment and the end ~

Harsh lights lit up the baron corridor , my feet traced the path many had taken . All having to wade through the tension that radiated from every pore of the hospital.

What could I do to bear the weight from her , she walked this corridor one day , walked down here knowing that it was going to be a walkway for her parents. I slowed as I reached the end , sirs footsteps slowed .

I could feel the pressure of his eyes probing my face as I started at the ground. I had to be strong to see her , I couldn't cry , I couldn't show how much I wanted to run out screaming .

"you don't have to go"

I swallowed down my fear. This however wasn't about me , wasn't about the nightmares that crawl into my brain at night. This was about being there for her , while she was with us.

I looked at my old teacher ,he had been a constant all year. Always looking after us and standing by Jen when it was hard. He had seen her at her worse and I should be thankful the I was only seeing her as what she was two days ago.

When Jen had come back from hospital , sir had kept the smiles on our faces, in the first week he had thrown a tissue box at me as I had make up on. The PE teacher had of course missed me and hit Jen , we had laughed for hours about it claiming we were going to sue our favourite teacher.

Two days. Painful as razor they had scared my body as emotionally as they would physically. As I looked at sirs bright blue eyes I knew that the only to do was move on was to take it all in when I can and not be complacent.

"she knows I'm coming" I countered back , a simple statement but Mr Hann ù knew that it was going to be worse for both of us if I don't walk around that corner

Still I stood routed to the spot for a moment trying to gather every single drop of energy I could muster so I could actual smile and I forced myself to stop shaking.

I nodded at Sir and put a glint in my eyes as I walked around the corner , "you would think that they would make this place I bit less boring , I mean people have to stay I here for weeks" eternally I shivered , on the good route that is exactly what she has to look forward to , if she got through this week.

" Helen" Mr Hann's voice had always been soft but now it sounded a bit for firmer. I stopped and looked back at him. haas as retiring in a few years and I knew from the look on his face , this year had drained him emotionally more than the rest. he had pinched bag under his eyes and I knew he had kept how worried he had been all year from us in class

"too cheerful" I said , my voice dropping as a girl walked past us. The girl never took her eyes off the floor , the sign that every step hurt her was all over her face. Her boned face not showing a flicker of showing a smile any time soon.

He studied my face , I think he was shocked about how I could change my whole body to promote positive light instead of the negative vibes that came off everyone in this place .My back was straight and I left my arms dangle at ease my my sides , I looked like I was walking to my next lesson in any other day when nothing happened. But something had happened, something no one my age should have to deal with.

The last year had left almost nothing of me, but out of it I had some become a stronger. My shell could slip easily , if I couldn't concentrate and if I was on my own listening to depressing songs. That shell was that which made me decide to come today. A year ago i told the untold truth- that my best friend had an eating disorder, a year ago she was at a healthy weight. A year ago I wasn't gong to tell and half a year ago I nearly didn't end up with a friend at all.