Ang Babaerong walang syota

Ep1: Joie (4th Year H.S.)

Hello, ako nga pala si JM, isang simpleng empleyado na ngayon, 24 years old as I am writing this short story. this will be a series of short stories that will show the "torpe" and "negative" thinking people kung ano ang magiging consequences ng pag-iisip nyo. at kung paano ko dinaanan ang mga babaeng dumaan sa aking buhay. (marami na sila) pero talagang "dumaan" lang.

I never had a GF since birth, and that still holds true today.

So sisimulan ko ang mga naging escapades ko from my "first love" kumbaga, (i used that term very loosely) which was in my 4th year high school.

I was the "socially awkward guy" in my batch, since elementary days, lagi akong tinutukso na "weird" "maitim" and all those stuff "payatot" etc. so i never really gained confidence in anything.

that was around 2008, public high, that was the first time Ive had a cellphone, Nokia 3210 to be exact. and di pa uso ang unlimited text. every message should be full of substance para di masayang ang piso.

merong girl sa kabilang section ko, mahilig sa text. sya si Joie. medyo may kaya, kaya walang problema sa load.

nilapitan nya ko one time.

"JM!"

"bkit?"

"anu number mo?"

"ahh, 09--------"

"sige, salamat"

then she left.

...then she became my first "Textmate"

Then we exchanged text messages, like Hi! hello! Good Morning, Goodnight, all of those.

it may be common sa ngayon, pero back then, it was sweet messages already, syempre sa age ko na di pa nakaka.experience ng affection ng girl.

That continued on, until nagkaroon na ng concern in every text. which I couldnt handle.

nadevelop na ang emotions. hanggang sa hinanap hanap ko na sya everyday.

hinahanap-hanap ko , pero di ko naman makausap ng harapan.

that was the first time na naconfuse ako sa nararamdaman ko, something I cant explain.

so I hid, everytime na ipapakilala ako ni Victor, classmate ko na common friend namin.

I felt a sick kind of excitement sa pagtatago ko , and a part of it na nanghihinayang dahil di ko sya makakausap. talagang magulo utak ko sa ganito.

It kept on going, until dumating ung time na medyo lumalakas na loob ko, 

pero by the time it happened, along came "Brian" nagpakita sya ng motives dun kay Joie which put me back to my previous situation, itinuloy ko ang pag-iwas ko sa kanya.

si Brian ang isa sa mga medyo "maangas" sa batch namin nung time na yun. I never had the capacity to fight back , dahil payat ako, and a pacifist. so natakot din ako

then I realized, Im gonna keep doing this, total, its only a few months before graduation, so di naman na kami magkikita anyway.

and Graduation day finally arrived.

She gave me a photo of her with a note on the back (usong uso pa ang Tronix nun)

"Fwend,

Thanks, sa pag-tulong mo sakin, and for being by my side pag my problema ako.,

di ko mkakalimutan un,

Signed,

Joie"

i felt a totally different feeling , di ko pa maexplain yet at my age.

so dun natapos ang unang experience ko on failing at a crush.

however, something happened to me that gave me a huge slap of regret.

Tumambay ako sa 7 eleven near our place, on a valentines day, kasama officemates ko, this is 6 years after.

meron akong nakitang babae, maganda. kulot ang hair, blooming. 

I told myself "swerte naman ng kasama nito"

then i realized, "parang si Joie to ah"

I looked closer (pasimple ofcourse) and she was...

...di ako nakatulog that night.

- - - END - - -