They all knew I was slowly killing myself. They saw me getting skinnier, the track marks on my arms, that my once bleach blonde hair was falling out. It was only a matter of time before I did overdose or die, yet no one did anything for me. And as they all expected, I, Erina 'Lynn' Kelie Johnson died on May 1st, 2000, the summer before my Junior year, I was found in the box of a truck, with heroin in my system and was beaten to death, by my 'friends', I might add. It came as a shock to our town, being that most of the people are bible thumping Christians, didn't understand where such a young girl could get in to that much trouble. Both my parents acted like they didn't notice it, and it was a something they didn't see coming, when they both knew just what was going on. So of course with past domestic violence reports, they didn't fool anyone.
The place I'm in now is quite an odd place. I assume its purgatory, or maybe this really is where you go after you're deceased. Its like a room, a box like structure with visible walls painted a pale gray. I don't have to eat, sleep, or even go to the bathroom. There is 3 monitors that are mounted in the wall, all of which follow different people in my town every hour, kind of like a television program. It was an interesting thing to watch, because you see all the views you wanted to know, with the persons thoughts included. Nothing on the monitors bothered me until they started to follow my killers. I tried to shut my eyes, and scream to block it out. But something inside me made me need to watch it, I was captivated.
After weeks of searching, they finally figured out it was 'Them', my so-called-friends. One of them cracked and told the police everything for a plea bargain. I already knew this, but, with me being deceased, I really couldn't aid in the investigation of my murder much. They found circumstantial evidence, and with that confession, the trial was pretty much set. It pains me to know that I was murdered, and over such a trivial thing as drugs makes it even worse. But despite all that, I was trapped like a rat in a cage, to watch my trials outcome.
'Whole town awaited the trial like it was a blockbuster movie, it was something that didn't happen often, murder happened a lot during the 60's and 70's here, hate crimes mostly. Still, we hadn't had a murder since winter of '85. But not a lot of people, let me say I can't blame them, felt sympathy for a murdered drug addict. Alas, it was an interesting case in which no one would cooperate, I mean, doesn't the headline 'SIXTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL KILLED BY FRIENDS OVER DRUG DEAL' pop out at you? It's a case you'd see in People magazine.
After months of waiting, they finally had enough evidence to get three of the boys who killed me in jail (I want to also add that one of the others who aided did not get in any trouble, and is still dealing, I saw on the monitor). After months of waiting, my trial finally started, with my parents in the front row with their Sunday best on. And my killers in the accused seat, none of them had a single ounce of guilt in their eyes except one, Charlie. With it started, they interviewed many, many people. The responding officer described by beaten and bruised body in such detail I wanted to vomit, but I had to keep watching.
"She was already dead when we found her, she had foamed at the mouth from the overdose. Half of her injuries, mostly cuts, bruising to her abdomen, legs and arm were done before she passed. We assumed at first they removed a few fingers in an attempt for her not to be identified," The officer looked up and wrinkled his nose, then kept going, "But it looked to us as they gave up after the failed to remove the third finger. They then moved on and continued to cut and beat her, until most of her blood drained into the truck box. Also with the way the cuts were angled, we can assume they were under the influence of some kind of drug." He talked for a while longer and when the prosecutor said 'no further questions', he left the stand.
The next couple of people to take the stand weren't half as bad. I do feel bad for the old man who found me, he had a mild stoke after calling the police. When one of my killers too the stand, Jose, I wanted to quit watching. But I couldn't miss and opportunity to see them on trial.
The lawyers started asking him questions, and of course he denied even being there, even when the found his skin under my nails. Eventually he gave up and stated, "Fine, I'll you. She was being greedy. She took to much of the H and we got mad, its really expensive Judge man. So we gave her way too much, and Gillis started beating her, and she started being weird and started foaming like a dog. So we freaked out because we knew she was dead. Charlie cut her fingers off…" Finally, he cracked and screamed, "WE KILLED HER, YEAH SEND ME TO JAIL. WE KILLED HER." He started screaming some blurred words and the Judge ordered him to be removed from the court. My mouth hung there for a second as I though about how I do not remember the events of that night, If I was greedy or not.
Gillis testimony was pretty much the same minus the psychotic outburst. He actually laughed, "She deserved it for being selfish, she had done this crap before and we let her get away with it because Jose had the hots for her. I really don't care if she's dead or not, you shouldn't send three kids to jail for a crack-whores death-" The judge pounded his gabble and told Gillis that was enough. Tears flooded my eyes, it wasn't fair. Sure I made bad choices, but I was only sixteen.
When it was Charlie's turn at the stand, he looked like he had been through hell-on-earth. Charlie was always was a charmer, and he didn't seem like someone who would snort coke or shoot up in the bathrooms at school. After a few questions and some answers he said this, with a frown gracing his face. He adjusted his tie as his navy eyes faced the court, "After the act of the murder, I started to be off the affects of the heroin. Once I had realized what I had done I panicked and ran off. I couldn't deal with it on my own. Erina was an amazing girl, and I couldn't believe that we had killed her. Why I didn't go to the police, I'm not sure." He coughed, "But I would like to be sent to jail for what I have done. Its not fair for me to talk a life and still be able to walk the streets." I was shocked. It was like the quiet part in a rock song, before the rush, you could hear a pin drop in the court room.
After the Jury was done with its final decision, the trial was finally going to be over. I don't know how long I've been in this room, but it seems like an eternity. All three were charged with all counts. Jose and Gillis were extremely upset at this and shouted, "This was rigged! You're all going to pay!" And other muffled words that were drowned out my the noise of the spectators. Charlie smiled and knew his fate. And under his breath he mutted,
"I'm sorry Erina."
My mind went blank in the grey room. That was the last thing the monitors said before playing credits like it was a movie. I started to swirl in my mind and everything went to a fast blur with the sound of a million airplanes. I wonder if this is what its like to live. And I fell back as the screens went dark and my eyes went blank. And at that moment I knew exactly what was happening with my life for once.
