Pen and Paper

POEMS ABOUT HE

1

When will you understand?

"Get your self together." He told me once.

"I can't, I can't, no matter how much I try, It all comes back to me."  I told you twice.

"Don't you trust me? Everything is alright." He told me once.

"It won't, happiness comes from hard work, I know that whenever problems arise, I won't be able to have fun. The least I can do is to work my way out." I told you twice.

"You need to get out of that shell, how else would you succeed?" He told me once.

"I can't, what I am not comfortable of maybe capable of breaking me." I told you twice.

"You know what I am slowly getting tired of you, It's like my love wasn't suffice for you." He told me more than once.

"I know that you are getting tired, I know that I am hard to handle, I am aware and sorry for that." Hoping you'd understand, I told you more than once.

"You know that I love you." He told me more than twice, but I only felt it once.

"I am leaving you, I can't wait here and let you destroy even me." Aware of the deed itself I told you this more than twice. 

"Before entering this relationship, I clearly told you what's going on with me. As you can see, people seeing that you are able to handle me, you used me to feed your ego. Now that you are no longer in the eyes of people, you'll leave me, jut because I no longer feed your ego and I no longer believe your words. Lies continue but your love won't. Leave me and I owe you a thank you."

2

it's about time I tell you how I feel

People always say, writers are awake at midnight, that is where loneliness is at it's peak.

And now i can agree. And all I could think of is you. To others, it may be short, but to me, the mere chance I have gave you to prove yourself worthy, is finally risking myself of feeling trust.

Being alone was never an issue for me. It always is. Okay, I am alone, then what? At my loneliness, Being alone is my happiest.

I get to sort out all of my devil's thoughts, I get to free myself of them. That's why, when you arrived. My sanity has been shaken.

My demons started acting out, and before you had the chance to calm them, you realize you didn't want to deal with them.

And as much as I didn't want to blame you, all my demons pointed their fingers at you, you disturbed their calm.

And eversince, I have been trying to appease them.

It made me emotionless, it made me stone. I knew what I needed to do, I chased you, but my demons didn't like it. They backfired at me.

It made me worse.

You see, the moment you stopped functioning altogether, you know you hit your most vulnerable state.

I didn't understood, how you made me feel like you liked me, and then all of a sudden you have another one clinging in your arms.

I let go, but that doesn't mean I wasn't hurt, I was very deeply.

And up until now, I don't know how to finish everything you started, and as I was at pause, I slowly moved.

And thank God, I didn't end up with you, It made me realize, you are not a blessing I am supposed to have, but a lesson, I should acquire something for.