Here's a little though of life...
Being enough for society is one thing, not being enough for yourself is another, though they go together, sometimes they have totally different meanings. You're not good to society because of all the things they think are right and perfect- maybe even acceptable- for the world, but when you're not good for yourself you're too consumed in trying to be good enough you get to a desperate state of mind where all your flaws just help grow the insecurity, the fear, the pain, the low self esteem, the need to punish yourself for not being good enough, the hate, the fake smiles, the "I'm fine", the tears, the nights when all you do is cry and pray even though you're not religious, the fear that all of this just comes to and end, the loneliness, the way you put yourself so low by telling yourself how ugly, disgusting, and a bad person you are and how the world would be a better place without you. Being afraid to end it is not the reason. It's always about what's going to happen. Thinking about those who make the effort for you and maybe even about what lays ahead is one of the most terrifying things in that moment but you don't want to be the coward who couldn't cut a little deeper.
