The Dark Side Of The Moon

The Dark Side Of The Moon- New Moon

I promised myself I wouldn’t cry, but the tears came as soon as they loaded the casket into the ground. The preacher started to say how we will always remember this boy. I zoned out because I already am remembering. How he died. How I killed him. It was me. I was the one who told him to go. I was the one who told him to go and never come back. I killed him. It doesn’t matter what anyone says, I know I killed him. For some reason I know that someday I will be able to forget. But for now I’m stuck with the memory of his back facing me, going out the door, leaving me. Forever.

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Mom and I are fighting again. It’s not like we didn’t fight before the accident, just not as frequent. It seems that once they put Johnny’s casket down in the ground, we’ve made a plan to fight every minute of the day. The fighting has gotten worse, before it was yelling and screaming. Now, it’s throwing plates and forks. If this continues, I will have no choice but to move out. Not only because of the fighting, it’s how people react when they see me. The pity looks. The sad eyes just urging me to say something. But I can’t. I won’t falter. That is what Johnny would have wanted, for me to ignore them, chin held high.

I walk to my spot on the sand where I get to feel the cold, salty breeze, that comforts me with tragedy and despair. I look out into the ocean wondering if I could see him. Some people say that when people die you can see them walking off in the sunset. I don’t see him. They lied. But I lied too. That’s why Johnny is in the ground. But I always know that he is in my heart. The heart that broke into a thousand pieces when I got the news. The heart that betrayed him. My brother. Dead. I know it’s my fault.

I know ths chapter short, but I just thought that this would be a good part to stop at.

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