The Edge of Everything

Chapter Fourteen

Feyre found me sitting on the couch hours later. The tears wouldn't come, but I just sat there staring at the wall. The house was quiet, Rey was asleep. I couldn't even will myself to go check up on her. The sun had set hours ago, she stopped talking the moment she came in through the door. She sat down beside me and the damn broke. The sobs came barreling out as I held her hands and told her what happened.

As I replayed the story I heard how foolish I sounded. I didn't even think to take his word for it I just assumed he was to blame, that there wasn't even a reasonable explanation. I held my sister's hand and tried to fight to believe in us the way I had before. But I was so tired of fighting. I was so tired of trying to find the girl I had once been.

Feyre and I talked for so long that we fell asleep on the couch. I woke up in the middle of the night to Rey crying. My cheeks were stained with tears and I was still laying on Feyre's shoulder. I was groggy but I woke up once I heard Rey calling out for me. I stood up, untangling myself from her. I went to check on my baby and she was sitting in my bed.

I crawled in beside her and we both fell back asleep.

Yesterday had been exhausting. It felt like it lasted longer than any other day of my life. Between Rey being sick, running into Tara, and then those messages I needed a break. But I didn't get a break. I was still a mother and between Rey and work I couldn't just stand around doing nothing. So now I found myself at the cafe staring at the empty tables. Sorrel was in the back doing paperwork.

I was left to my own devices. The cafe was painfully slow this afternoon. I was wiping down a few glasses as I tried to will my mind off of my best friend. Thankfully Feyre had offered to watch Rey for me. Ever since Tomas came in I didn't want to bring her back. Feyre said she called out of work since she felt sick and told me all she wanted was to snuggle with Rey today. So I left her at home.

My mind kept drifting back to Cassian, since my hands had nothing to do. I wanted to call him. I wanted to tell him I believed him, to beg him to talk to me and tell me everything. But I knew I had hurt him just as badly as those messages had hurt me. All because I chose to believe a lie instead of my best friends truth.

I wiped down the counter as I tried to stop the flood of emotions, the fire of guilt and anger that played inside my stomach. I bit my lip hard so the tears wouldn't fall. I heard the bell chime as a customer walked in. I turned to wipe away a silent tear before I walked to the register.

"What can I get you," I stopped when I saw Azriel standing there. He smiled, a small smile but it was there. He had his hands in his pockets, looking a little nervous to be here on his own.

He was dressed in all black, like he always was. He wore so much black it looked like he was being followed by shadows. His hair, slightly longer than Cassian's was tied back away from his face. It was strange, seeing him here without Mor. He never came to visit me unless his girlfriend brought him. To be honest we had never really been friends. More like friends by association.

"Az," I tried to force a smile, "what are you doing here? Did Mor send you for her daily caffeine?"

He shook his head and sat down at the counter, "no she didn't send me. I went by the house, Rhys told me what happened. I um. I thought I'd come see how you were doing."

Now I did smile, "I'm fine," I stood up straighter, "let me get you some tea."

The soft spoken male hated coffee. He always scrunched his nose at his girlfriend as she inhaled her daily coffee. So I brought him a mug and pour water over his favorite ear; grey tea. He reached out with his scarred hands, wrapping them around the mug. He nodded his thanks as I set the pitcher of water back on the hot plate.