Destined to be with you (GirlxGirl)

Chapter 1

Ashley pov

Have you ever wonder how it feels like to be gay? Well it’s a hard life. People just don’t seems to understand you and won’t accept you for who you are. They would just turn away from you. But if you meet someone you can love with all your heart, someone that can make you happy just by being there, someone that can make you wants to come out of the closet then that person would be worth everything. I haven’t met my special someone yet, that’s why I’m till staying safely in my closet. My friends don’t know that I’m gay and absolutely not my family. Well I can just say that if my family knows that I’m gay then you can expect that hell will be on earth. My family are catholic and yeah it’s enough to explain how they will react if they know that I’m gay. You can easy say that they’re homophobic. They would probably send me to some mental hospital and believe me when I say that they wouldn’t give up before they know I have turn straight again. Yeah, that would be really horrible and impossible. I mean you can’t just turn straight whatever method they would use on you.  

The first time I realize that I’m gay is when I was fourteen. I was at a party with my friends and got really drunk. Well when you are a teenage you would want to try new things so I think that I hook up with some girls and the next thing I know is that I woke up the next morning with a totally naked girl. I totally freak out and took my cloth and run away from there as fast as I could. I never saw the girl again but after the accident I realize that I was more attracted to girls. It took me a long time to finally accept the fact that I’m gay. I mean all my life I was told that all the gay people are sinner and suddenly found out that I’m one of them. It was really hard to take that in and I know that I would disappoint my family. But when you finally accept who you are then you feel like the whole world is open for you. You are not the little person in cage anymore and would realize that being gay is not a sin, love has no gender and the heart decides who it loves. Well I’m still waiting for the person who can drag me out of my closet and let me start living the real life.

The me right now is just dating guys and with that I mean a lots of them. Hey, saying I’m gay doesn’t mean I don’t think guys are hot. I totally think they’re hot! They just don’t attract me the way girls do and hey, I’m still in the closet so I can’t just go and date girls. Like I said, my family would freak out. Oh I can say straight out that I have never been in love before, well not for real. I just date guys for fun. Ok now I sound like a total slut but believe me when I say that I’m still a virgin. I’m seventeen and still a virgin, unbelievable right? I can get all the guys I wants cause I have the looks and style. They are dying to be with me but I’m saving my first time to someone I actually love. My friends always tease me for that but hey I don’t want to regret my first time.

“Hey Ash, stop daydreaming and get your ass to the class now or we’ll be late!” my best friend Rebecca call out.

“Beck, my ass can’t walk to the class by itself so maybe you can bring it with you seeing that you are on your way there” I said and smile brightly at her.

 Beck and I have known each other since we were born. My mom and her mom are best friends and so are our dads. We know nearly everything about each other and our house are like next to each other. We tell each other all our secrets and the only secret I haven’t told her yet is that I’m gay. It’s not that I don’t trust her, I just don’t trust myself. I don’t have the courage to tell her or anyone else. But she’s my best friend so I figure that I have to tell her that sooner or later. I just hate to keep secret from her and I think it’s would be easier if you have someone you can talk about this with.

“I say GET your ass to the class not hey ass walks to the class by yourself” she said and rolls her eyes.

“Ops, you got me” I said laughing and start getting to the class with her.