Special mention to @downandnotout for the special new cover!
Luke P.O.V.
It was early Friday morning, my favorite day of the week. I got ready with a smile on my face, all of my thoughts drifting toward Ashton.
After what happened Monday, that's all I seemed to think about. Ashton's small body caving in to mine and the way I held him tightly as he told me everything. Ashton didn't seem any different, however. He didn't seem to notice me at all much. I shrugged it off, before I would've been happy that he didn't care about me but now it left a dull ache in my chest.
I also couldn't stop worrying about seeing Ashton with Harry Styles yesterday. Everything about that kid seemed wrong to me, ranging from his many tattoos and the way he flirted so easily with m- Ashton.
These thoughts were on a constant loop in my head, Ashton Harry Ashton Harry, until I saw a familiar head of blonde curls. I ran to catch up with Ash, but noticed a sickening head of dark curls as well. They were talking and laughing- and almost looked like a happy couple. Deep down I knew this shouldn't bother me, Ashton didn't like me but I did like Ashton, and seeing them kiss was like a punch right to the gut. As much as I wanted to avoid their circle of friends, I needed to talk to Ashton about a few things.
Just as Ashton turned around to face me, I noticed something strange about him. I couldn't help but blush, ignoring the sickly feeling in my stomach. Ashton smiled when he saw me. "Hey, Luke!"
"What are you wearing?" I questioned, pure confusion in my voice. "Is that my shirt?" I gestured to Ashton's oversized black Nirvana tee. It certainly was mine, and the place I saw it was Friday night when- My grin immediately fell, and I folded my arms embarrassed.
Ashton looked at me with a puzzled look on his face, then looked down. He was silent at first, but pierced it with a high-pitched laugh. "Oh my god! I didn't even notice!" He laughed harder and wiped his eyes. "Do you want it back? Actually, nah, I think I'll keep it. It's a good memory." He beamed a happy smile at me, dimples the size of craters.
"A good memory? Why?"
"Because." He giggled, and I felt a warm feeling wash over my body. "Anyway, do you not remember Monday afternoon? You know, I cried into your shoulder all vulnerable-like then you cried into my shoulder all vulnerable-like?" He tripped slightly over a backpack in the hallway. I hadn't even noticed we were walking, almost at Ashton's locker. "You tried to apologize for being an ass then totally avoided me after. Didn't we discuss the 'mixed signals' thing?"
I was processing what he said and was about to say something when my brain suddenly switched gears. I remembered why I wanted to talk to him. "That's beside the point. What's up with you and that Styles kid?"
He looked up at me with a sparkle in his eyes, one I barely saw anymore. Was it, love? It was quickly replaced by a flash of confusion, but he smiled. "I'm not really sure, honestly. I mean, we met yesterday and he spent the night at my place last night. Now he acts like we're a couple- Not that I have a problem with that." His mouth formed into a playful smirk, and I felt like I was going to be sick.
Ashton slept with Harry. I leaned against the wall. I know I shouldn't be so upset, but it hit me like a wrecking ball. It's not like I wanted him to myself, right? No, I couldn't even show how I felt about him in public.
"Luke, are you okay? You look ready to kill someone." Ashton timidly placed his hand on my shoulder, and I couldn't help but feel sparks. Shit, ever since I decided I liked Ashton, my entire world has gone to hell.
"Yeah, I'm okay. I guess, I guess I don't feel too well." I flashed a sheepish smile and hustled down the hallway. "Bye, Ashton." I turned back, only to see him waving in my direction with a confused look in his face.
The rest of my Friday was horrid. So much for my favorite day of the week. Everywhere I went, it was Ashton and Harry. Ashton and Harry kissing by his locker, Ashton and Harry waking together in the hallway, Ashton and Harry laughing and talking at lunch.
I stood at my locker, awaiting the worst part of my day. Language. The only class I had with Ashton, the class where we had to talk about our lives. Probably going to talk about nothing but Harry, yeah? Yeah. I shuffled to class as slowly as possible and slumped into my desk. Ashton came in soon after me, a new bounce in his step.
"Hey Luke!"
"Hey."
"What's up?" I didn't bother responding. I was afraid if I said something I might spill everything. He looked at his desk. I bit my lip.
"What do like so much in Harry?" I whispered, picking at my desk. Although I couldn't see him, I could feel him shift in his seat.
"What do you mean?" His voice was shaky, and I couldn't help but feel very curious.
"Ya know, what was it that made you gravitate toward him?" I shifted in my seat until I was facing him completely, our legs tangled between desks. I couldn't help but blush.
He stared at the floor for a moment, then he looked at me smiling, his eyes shining again with that love for Harry.
"I guess everything. His curly brown hair, his adorable dimples, the way his eyes change with his emotions, his tattooed arms. He also treats me with respect, touches and talks to me like I was the most important person in his world. He smiles at everything I say, and laughs at my really lame jokes. And when he does smile I feel something indescribable, like floating on a cloud. And in public.. In public he acts the same, always wanting to be next to me. He wasn't scared to love me in front of everyone, hell I wouldn't be surprised if he stood on the rooftops and yelled it to the world." He was smiling and talking with a happiness that seemed to brighten the whole room.
As he talked, I felt my stomach drop deeper and deeper. He described the boy of his dreams, and not only was that boy not me but it was everything I could never give him.
Question:
Do you want shorter chapters and updates more often, or longer chapters but less updates? I'm floating in between the two right now.
