Scarred

Chapter Five

Chapter Five

I grip my food tray tightly as I wander around aimlessly in the main hall. Tables are dispersed evenly throughout the room, each one occupied with one or more people.

The last thing that I want to do is socialize.

A lump has formed in my throat that refuses to go away, one that builds at the thought of having to speak to my father. In the lab room, he only scanned over me quickly, so I’m unsure as to whether he actually noticed me.

In a way, I wish he hadn’t so that I could go under his radar for a little while longer.

Axil is sitting at a table with a red-headed girl. I slide into a seat across from them, tossing my tray down with a clatter. Axil looks at me automatically as if the sound surprised him. The girl next to him is so pale she’s almost white, with curly, long, orange hair that glides down to her belly button. Her face is spotted with freckles and her lips are painted red.

When she sees me, a smile erupts on her face, spreading from cheek to cheek like an oil spill.

“Scarlet.” She states happily. “I’m Eve.” My gaze flicks over towards Axil, and he does a slight nod to acknowledge me. I force the corners of my mouth to turn upwards slightly for a flash of a second, before glancing back downwards at my plate.

The food here looks amazing, and there is enough sitting in front of me to feed two families, but stomach feels full. My appetite is lacking today, probably due to the new arrival of my dad.

I play with the mashed potatoes with the end of my fork, pushing them around my plate so that they mix with the other food.

“So, this is exciting.” Eve pipes. she’s jumpy like she’d had too much sugar. Although she speaks the statement towards both Axil and I, I get the hint that she’s waiting for my reply.

“Yeah.” I mutter, forcing a spoonful of corn into my mouth. The taste is so new to me that I nearly gag, but I chew it anyways. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Eve mouth something to Axil, probably along the lines of, ‘what’s wrong with her?’ but I choose to pretend like I don’t notice.

I wonder where my father is now, and if while he’s doing all this stuff, he ever thinks about the family that he left behind.

Or, thought he left behind. I think to myself. Does he know that I’m here? If I were to talk to him, I wouldn’t know what to say. Hello? Nice to see you? How the hell could you abandon a family and never look back?

Tears cause my eyes to glaze over, so I let my hair fall into my face as I stare at my legs.

I can’t believe this. My emotions are pushing against my insides as if suddenly the skin will tear open and expose them.

I can spot Axil placing his fork down gently, out of my peripheral vision. If I speak, I know that my cheeks will no longer be dry, so I try to swallow back the sobs before he says something. I want to collapse in on myself and disappear without any question.

Please don’t speak to me, I beg silently. For once, I just want to be left alone. I don’t want to be coddled, because if I break down in front of everyone, they’ll know who I really am. All this time I’ve been trying to keep rebuilding my collapsed walls, but the moment they become tall enough they always end up being hit by something unpredictable.

Axil clears his throat to try to get my attention, but I don’t look up.

“Scarlet, are you okay?”

Everything in my body urges me upward as I stand abruptly. My hands smack against the surface of the table when I spring to me feet.

“Stop asking me that!” The voice that leaves my lips is not mine. It’s raspy and angry and on the verge of snapping completely. When I say it, the words are much louder than I expected them to be. I call over top of all the other varieties of conversations and many people stop to look at me. Their eyes bore into me as if they’re shooting lasers.