The ultimate moment

A life of sorrows (Chapter 1)

It was summer in New York already. The heat was baking the city during the days and the nights were cloaked in thick humid darkness. Sunset was falling painting the sky with thousand shades of red. At a flat on West Side, a tall handsome man was standing in front of its open window. His blue gaze was lost within the sunset as the last rays of the sun fell on his face like a warm smile. A girl from long time ago used to smile to him like that. Warm and radiant. His cigarette was balancing on the edges of his half closed lips. He took a draw from it and let the smoke out in a long exhale, watching it dispersing in the air as if his soul was escaping. His long dark hair was sticking to his damp neck. Too hot, he thought. He was standing there with his shirt open hoping for a breeze. He would give anything to be able to escape for a while. 

"Terry!...Terry!", his wife's cries were heard from the other room. He sighed.

"What do you want Susanna?" He asked without moving from where he was, sounding stern.  He felt tired in his unfulfilled wish of being left along for a while.

 "For goodness sake Terry, do you want me to shout for everyone to hear us every day?" The voice from the other side of the wall now sounded irritated.

Terry's lips became a thin line. He pressed the cigarette in the ashtray and moved towards the bedroom. He had helped Susanna to lay on the bed just before enjoying that solitary smoke in the  quietness of the moment. She had prompted herself against the pillows and was sitting naked under that bed sheet covering her from the waist down. Her long hair fell like two thick gold ribbons over her breasts. He hadn't expected her to have taken her clothes off. His surprise made him take a step backwards.

"Don't worry, I won't bite," she remarked with a bitter voice. " It is too hot. I couldn't think of anything else to do."

"Good," he said back, "Do you need anything else Susanna?".

She hesitated for a moment. "Will you sleep in your study again tonight?" she asked in the end. The longing in her voice didn't go unnoticed.

"I believe yes," he replied cringing inside. Such questions of hers put him in a tough spot but she kept asking them despite his replying being the same time and time again, "after all it is so hot...I don't think I'll sleep at all tonight."

She stayed silent. Angry frustration had started shimmering behind her eyes that were gazing in the empty space in front of her. "Ever since we are married, we never have slept together Terry." Her voice was restrained. "I could excuse you when we weren't married," the words left her tense mouth like the first raindrops of a storm about to break. "But now that I am your wife for the last three months allow me to think that your refusal to sleep together, is offensive" she burst, blood rushing under the skin, painting her face all red.

Terry's stare glazed with anger. "Don't push it Susanna" and turned his back to leave the room.

This time she was having none of it. She had adored him from the moment she had laid eyes on him. In Terry, she had imagined her life complete. She had a presence when he stood next to her, people noticed her. He had been her sun and she was bathing in his light. She knew from the start she would walk through hell to make him hers. He was hers and only hers, she thought manically inside her head. But for all this time, Terry never let his guard down; He behaved controlled, polite, distant. After having chased Candy away, she had hoped with time, Terry would realise what a find of a woman he had next to him. She had been the rising star of the theatre troupe nevertheless before loosing her leg in the accident. She hadn't minded it...Everything to save Terry. Although, the way she had planned it, it wasn't going to be a near fatal accident. Nevertheless, a leg for a life next to him...

"It is easy for you to walk out on an argument... don't worry about me, I can't go anywhere..." she said deciding to lay the sarcasm thick on her words, not taking his comment in notice.

Terry stopped in his tracks. When he turned a storm was brewing in his stare. "You know how to play the victim really well...too well in fact for my fortunes." He retorted. "I promised to be by your side, to take care of you but I don't remember at any point to have promised you undying love and affection, my dear." Terry retaliated, giving weight to his last words.

She was fuming, her eyes were full of fire. "You still think of her, isn't?! Tell me!" she yelled at him. " Your memories are a torture aren't they??", she continued like a deadly hurricane gathering force. " WELL, I'M GLAD YOU SUFFER TERRY! NO ONE CAN HAVE YOU BUT ME! I PAID FOR THIS PRIVILEGE", she screamed and pulled the sheet away to reveal the absence of her left leg. 

Silence fell for  a few seconds that seemed to cover everything in the room. Only Susanna's hard breathing was audible. His face was grim like the winter's sky.

"You are out of your mind woman", he managed to say between his teeth, before turning away. He had heard more than enough and didn't know how much more he could take. He feared he would do something he would regret. 

" As far as you know, Candy may have  forgotten you by now...", he heard her continue behind him. "Heck! She could be in another man's arms that very moment...waking up in his bed for all you know." Like a snake, with poison dripping from its teeth, she was about to strike. "Sweet innocent Candy...learning the joys of lovemaking from another man..." 

Terry stood there motionless, his face red with anger clutching his fists so tight, his fingernails were piercing the skin on his palms.

"Don't tell me that you are not scared to go to that place Terry...You..you.. you  think that you are all power and arrogance and talent! Only the thought of her reduces you to a pile of rubbish! I bet whoever is with Candy right now, he is having a great time, who knows if she even remembers you, you weak little man", Susanna was giving it her all now, the poison that her frustration had created, was spilling like a bursting river.  

He turned to face her with eyes that were glazed over as if a black menacing cloud had covered them.  It was only a flash of time. Two wide strides. He swung his arm and slapped her hard across the face. He pulled his hand back on that very instant, as if he had put it on fire, regretting it even before touching her cheek but it was too late. He couldn't have stopped it. His breathing was hard and shallow. Sweat was glistening on his forehead.

"I wish to God, I had never met you Susanna Marlowe" he managed to say.

Susanna's eyes were wide with shock. He finally had laid his hand on her. She had loved Terry with every cell in her body. When he promised to stay with her,  she was certain she possessed all the patience in the world to wait for him to fall in love with her. Without that other woman in the middle, she was certain Terry one day would feel love for her, the same way he once had felt for Candy...how foolish she had been. She covered her throbbing cheek with her hand and looked at him. Her sky blue eyes blurred his image.

"GET OUT! OUT! GET LOST FROM HERE! I HATE YOU TERRY GRANTCHESTER!", she screamed.

Susanna fell back on her pillow. Streams of angry hot tears trailed down her cheeks. After a silent pause, she whispered. "You vowed through life and death in our wedding Terry. You are a man of your word, aren't you?" Her hint pointed to previous events. Those that had changed their lives forever.   Terry left the room without saying a word, leaving his wife on her own. He hated himself for what he had just done. Hate run in her veins too. Not for their fate, or her, but for the man she had loved, the one who would never be hers. "I will make you pay, Terry Grantchester, wait and see." she thought while waves of tiredness cursed through her body.

Terry was exhausted as well. Alone in the study, he sat down on a chair and poured himself a shot of whiskey. His fingers tightened around the glass; he thought he will break it. There was no use. He had slapped Susanna while the image of Candy with another man was tearing him apart. The sharpened claws of jealousy were digging in his mind. He was a weak man after all. He felt repulsed with himself. In a second's time he stood up throwing the glass to the wall, exploding into a rain of crystal shards. "The hell with it!" he thought to himself. Took his wallet and his cigarettes, and left for the bars. He would sleep at the theatre tonight.

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