Unmuted

Unmuted- Chapter 13

The silence in the car ride home is deafening. All of my insides feel weak and all I want is to curl up in a ball and take a long nap. I want to sleep for a very long time, so long that when I wake all my problems will have disappeared or will turn so trivial that no one will remember them. This whole day has gotten so tiring that my body is pretty much on autopilot.

Duncan parks the car on the driveway and sighs. We sit there in silence none of us saying a thing, not moving. The muffled sounds from outside seep in through the cracks of car, but they do not break the slate of silence that is inside of the car.

Duncan inhales deeply once more a few minutes later. "Was he an old boyfriend?" His voice is directed in my direction.

I stare up from my wrestling fingers to meet his eyes. He looked like Duncan, not the playful Duncan, but the understanding Duncan who knew when to back off when something did not regard him -- the non-prying Duncan. His face contradicted with his words though. This Duncan is prying.

"A friend," I say, giving him a piece of information in hopes that we can go back to the "I won't mention it if you don't" system. "An old friend."

"What happened?"

My mind sighs exasperated. I did not want to speak about this, think about this, feel anything about this. I did not know what to say. What did happen? How did this all happen? Why did this all happen?

"We uh... We had a little disagreement, and he uh..." Lied, betrayed, hurt, killed me. The hard pounding in my chest is making it hard for a sufficient amount of air to enter my body. I begin to silently gasp for air. "We just stop talking."

I did not want to lie to Duncan, nor did I want to tell him the truth. Even though we had grown close these past couple of days, it still does not change the fact that he is still a stranger -- only a man David had forced me to live with for the time being.

"Right," he nods in thought. "You know, I've known Jordan," my heart tightens from the mention of the name, "for a while. I don't think he's ever mentioned you..." He probably did not mean to, but he started to sound accusatory.

"Why would he?"

Duncan sits up straighter in his car seat. "Well, we used to be good friends."

"Used to be?"

"Well yeah..." He bites his bottom lip. He looks as if he is trying to find the right words to say. "His wife," another pang in my chest, "she's kind of a witch," he laughs.

Oh boy do I know! I nod and even try a slight smile, but then it turns twisted and deceitful and so I drop it. "Yeah, I hear she is."

"You've never met her?" He asks surprised. "They've been married for a few years now."

"No, I have met her. She is always been nice to me, though" I try to lie, but my tone gives it all away. It is difficult to say that such a horrible person is anything positive, I mean, she has nice hair.

He throws me a doubtful look, then laughs. "You don't have to lie about it. Everyone knows that Marla Sarka is a tyrant, even to Jordan." He shakes his head.

All this talk about the two people I have spent four years of my life pushing all thoughts away from is painful. Before Duncan can say anything else on the subject I change it. "So," I start slowly, actually considering talking about the weather, I am that desperate. "Throat singing," I mention matter of factly.

He jumps in his seat from the reminder. "Yes," he says yanking his keys out of the ignition. "Come on, lets get inside. We can listen to some in my home studio."