Prologue

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I forgot to post this before I started the story! So enjoy nesta's beginning :)

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I couldn't even feel the rain as it fell on me. I stood outside Feyre's house shivering, more tears staining my cheeks. I found it was easier to cry in the rain. My tears and the raindrops all blurred together. My hands were shaking, but I tried to find whatever courage I had left to walk up the path. I had nowhere else to go. I wasn't sure what my sister would say, but I needed someone. I needed someone else to know. To carry this pain with me.

I had shouldered this secret for too long. I couldn't handle it anymore.

I let out a shaky breath as I knocked. I could've just walked in, but I felt like someone else. After that night Tomas attacked me I didn't feel like Nesta anymore. I felt like a stranger living in my skin.

It felt like hours before she pulled the door open, "Nesta," her eyes went wide when she saw the tears in my eyes. I wasn't one who cried easily everyone knew that.

She pulled me out of the rain and hugged me close. My sister gave the best hugs, even when I didn't want them. She held me tighter than anyone else, as if she knew it was the only way to get past my shield. As if she could put my pieces back together if she tried hard enough.

She ran her hands up and down my cold arms. Her eyes were wide as she took a step back to look at me. We had the same eyes, given to us by our selfish mother. Feyre's were always softer, full of the love our mother never shared with us.

My sister was so full of compassion sometimes I forgot she was the youngest of the three of us, "what happened? What's wrong?"

We walked into her living room and she pulled me down with her onto the couch. My hands were still shaking as I tried to stop the sobs. I closed my eyes and saw it all happening again. I saw the moments when Tomas pushed me down, when his hands started to wander. That moment had been haunting me for the last three months.

My eyes snapped opened and I felt sick.

"I um. I broke up with Tomas," my voice cracked, "before he left."

Feyre nodded, "yeah. You didn't seem upset about it a few months ago."

I swallowed the bile in my throat, "I have to tell you something. I didn't do it because he was going off to school. I um."

I stopped, the room utterly silent. I was so scared. I tried to tell Elaine and she freaked out. I didn't even get past the beginning of my story and she shut down. What if Feyre did the same thing? What if she didn't believe me and I was forced to figure this all out on my own?

"Nesta," my littlest sister took my hand in hers and forced me to look up at her, "I am here for you. Whatever happened, good or bad, I won't walk away. I promise."

Her words made more tears appear. I bit back a sob and tried to speak again, "he forced me. He... he.. he forced himself on me and I couldn't stop him. He put something in that stupid drink," I felt so stupid thinking back to the events that took place that night, "I couldn't fight him. I couldn't protect myself."

Feyre's eyes went wide. She understood right away, "Nesta. Did you tell anyone?"

I shook my head, "no. I can't. I'm fine," I stopped and laughed, pushing my hair out of my face, "no I mean I thought I was fine. Until today."

My sister waited as I sat up straighter. I faced her and held onto her hand. I let the silence settle, I tried to make my heart settle. I hadn't said the words out loud yet. But I knew once they were in the air it was real, this moment wasn't just a nightmare anymore.

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