chapter 3: yellow

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Rose

After a night of pitiful tears and the unsuccessful attempt to detach myself from my heart, I had decided that a change was in order.

You see, you can only live in the same town for so long without feeling like you're going stir-crazy. And when the only person that brought a smile to your face was dead ... Well, this town surely had nothing left for me.

I sat at my desk researching places to stay out of town. Somewhere peaceful would be ideal; where my surroundings would be foreign so I could look at a tree and not think back to all the memories attached to it.

I wanted a fresh start. A new life. Truthfully, I would have been content to dye my hair, change my name and move to the other side of the globe but I was a mere ninteen-year old with a scrawny high-school diploma, one year of work experience and a bank account the size of a — Well, it was nonexistent.

After an hour of tapping away and undergoing an endless voyage into the depths of the internet, I had decided that the mere idea of moving away and starting a new life was much more fun to fantasize about than actually do.

My mother would undoubtedly kill me if she found how where my brain was wandering off to. Then again, I would be reunited with Caleb. Maybe my own demise wouldn't be so unfortunate after all.

I stood abruptly and sulked across my room to the photo of Caleb and I. I stared at our content faces for a moment before gently placing the frame back onto my dresser.

Five days ago I had woken up happier than I had ever known possible. It was my nineteenth birthday. I was on the cusp of adulthood, I was in love, and I didn't have a care in the entire world. Mix those three together and you get a killer recipe for happiness.

It was noon and I was standing in my bedroom in front of the full length mirror. My black hair fell to my waist in waves, hanging over the simple yellow sundress I had bought for the occasion. Even I could see the excitement dancing in my green eyes as I toyed with the strap of the dress.

Caleb would be arriving any minute now. I could still feel the way my heart fluttered at the thought of him. Just conjuring up his smile in my mind made my toes curl.

He was my absolute everything and I realized now that that was the first problem.

Making someone your everything was tricky because, when you lost them, what were you left with? Nothing. Yet with Caleb, I was perfectly content to offer up my heart whole. It was his for the taking and Lord, did he take it.

The problem lies in the fact that when you're in love, you begin to look at life through only one lens. The sun is brighter and the air is warmer and oh, the birds sound louder because love is marvellous.

You forget to remember that a world exists outside this love.

That love can be taken away just as quickly as it was given.

That your boyfriend could get into a car crash while driving to your house on your nineteenth birthday and die before he had a chance to see you in that yellow sundress.

My head jerked quickly to my bedroom door as my mother's voice called my name from down the hallway. I stuffed away the thoughts of Caleb into the cobwebbed corners of my mind as I strode out of my bedroom.

My mother was standing in the kitchen, shuffling through a pile of mail as her dark hair clung to her forehead with sweat. Her eyes met mine and they narrowed.

"What's wrong with your eyes?" She walked towards me and held my face in her hands as she inspected whatever imperfection she spotted this time.

"What?" I took a step back until her hands fell from my face. She crossed them over her chest quickly.

"Your eyes. They're red and swollen."

I rolled my swollen eyes as I stepped around her. "It's the aftermath of crying, Mother." I said dryly as I poured myself a glass of water.

"Tears won't mend your heart, Rose."

"Have you read another self-help book? Or did you learn that from the television?"

"You think I enjoy seeing you like this?" She seethed. "I adored Caleb. His death is not being mourned by you alone, Rose."

"You adored him?" I spat. "You adored his money, Mother! You adored the idea of me marrying into a wealthy family! You saw Caleb as an insurance police, nothing more. Don't you dare insult the memory of him by pretending you ever cared."

My mother's face paled as I brushed by her, running into my room and slamming the door behind me.

I screamed into my pillow as the sobs crashed through me, pulling me further down until I was drowning in my own despair.

It was sad, I realized, when the only thing you could count on was the inevitable breakdown you would have every day.

Although the sadness had a habit of taking prominence over all my other emotions, I refused to let it win. I refused to wither away into a pile of tears with a faintly pulsing heart swimming in the centre.

Frantically, I returned to my computer, typed in a vague search about private getaways and let the internal workings of the internet do its glorious job.

Seconds later, the page was full of options. I scrolled through the list, my eyes scanning every opportunity until I found the one that stuck. The Purple Woods Inn.

"Private cabins secluded in the woods..." I read aloud as I clicked on the promising link.

The site opened to a simple page with quaint photos of rivers, trees and endless wilderness. Wooden cottages were nestled together beyond the tree line and I could almost hear birds chirping and the buzz of insects.

I found the contact number and quickly dialled the phone.

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