The dead girl who knew to much.

~Why'd you do it?~

Birds chirping outside the window.

I'm awake; I can't move. I can see everything around me. I'm in my closet, I must've fallen asleep in here after last night. Why can't I move; I try moving my arms, I can't. My legs won't budge, I'm laying on my back on the closet floor. I can see myself in the body length mirror that hung on the door surrounded by posters and pictures. I can see the boxes of old photos and baby toys barely hanging off of the top shelf, I try to reach for them but can't. My shirts and dresses hung swaying back and forth from the breeze coming from under the door. All of a sudden I feel my throat closing, I can't breath. My chest is getting heavy like someone is sitting on me. I close my eyes and count to ten, maybe this will help. I open my eyes to find him sitting on me with his hand around my neck squeezing as tight as he possibly can. I try to move, I try to push him away, I try to scream, I try to kick him but I can't. I can feel myself losing consciousness. I can feel myself losing life. I'm finally able to move my arms as I try and grab his hands. I pull with everything I have left. As I pull his hands from my throat I open my eyes. I am awake.

Iv had the same nightmare since he came into the picture. Sleep paralysis is what the doctors called it. A vivid nightmare where I can't move or speak but can feel, smell and sense everything around me. They kept telling me to take the medication and forget it even happened, but I never could. How can you forget something that happens every night not just in your head but in real life as well. It's simple, you can't.

I remember jolting up holding my throat taking a deep breath in, I could breath again. I grab ahold of my knees and curled up not wanting to move, afraid he was still outside waiting for me. To save myself from heartache I stayed in my closet with the music in my headphones tuned all the way up. I fell asleep again. I woke to the sound of my mother asking me to come down for dinner. I just shut my eyes and fell back to sleep. In the morning Once I got myself close to awake and normal I slowly pushed the closet door open making sure not to make to much noise. I could see that my door had been kicked and punched through but not fully opened. A sigh of relief fell over me as I quietly crawled out of the closet to the side of my bed by the window. I peered out of the window seeing how the sun was rising from behind the hillside slowly lighting up the world around me. The clock read 6:15am I held the bed post to help myself off the floor. I sat on the end of my bed looking out the window as the neighboring adults and children ran out there front doors and loaded into there cars to head for whatever there weekend plans were. The front door slammed shut. I watched him quickly jump in the car dressed in his best attire and pull out of the driveway. He was sober but only for the time being. Once gone I felt a sigh of relief rush over myself once again. I needed to jump in the shower I felt dirty from sleeping on the floor two nights in a row and my neck was killing me! As I walked across the hall to the bathroom, coming up the stairs was Sam holding another new door "good morning sis, you doing ok?" I didn't think I could speak without crying so I simply nodded his way and gave him a bear hug "Don't worry I'll get the door fixed and I'll put new locks on, I bought a couple dead bolts this time and the door is solid. He won't be getting in anytime soon. I see your going to take a shower? Well he's gone now so just take your time and I'll be done by the time you get out, and just remember I love you and I'm not going anywhere." I could feel myself wanting to cry again so I quickly let him go and shut the bathroom door behind me. I like my showers hot, I started the water and waited for the steam to fully consume the mirror. As I got undressed I stood facing away from the Mirror, I didn't want to look at myself for all I ever saw was the cuts, scrapes and bruises he left behind. Once done I wrapped my towel around my body and put up my tear filled hair into a bun. I sat on the toilet waiting for the water to heat up. I couldn't help but gently hold my neck were his hand impressions lingered. It's nothing a little foundation can't cover. I climbed into the shower and tossed my towel over the sliding glass door. I let the water trickle down my back as I closed my eyes and rubbed the back of my neck trying to relax. I could hear the electric screw driver outside the door as my bedroom door hit the ground. I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling. After washing my beat up body and shaving my legs I turned off the water, grabbing my towel and re-wrapping myself. I didn't hesitate to walk past the mirror without looking and head straight to my room. As I left the bathroom Sam was finishing the last dead bolt on the door. Once he was done I said thank you and closed my door "thank you Sam." He produces a smile "no problemo lol sis, if you need anything just holler at me, I'll be downstairs watching football. GO LIONS! Oh and happy 18th lil sis!"