She

The embodiment of Loneliness

Chapter 01 -

London, 1886

Saoirse waited. She had been waiting for seventeen years that her life had some meaning. But she would never find in the bottom of the bottle.

She was already like a daughter to the bar owner. If it is decent to allow a daughter to imbibe such as this. But Saoirse could be really persuasive with those green eyes, flaming red hair and curvaceous figure. Especially when she was broke. Which was, more often than not. But Tom always advised her to dress as a man to those endeavors. If she wanted to get drunk, all right. But London was dangerous for a defenseless chit.

Tom's advice was good advice. She was a drunk who liked fighting and knew very well how to pick a good fight. Tom didn't mind about the fights themselves, for many men at the bar had that habit and he always had to change the chairs on the bar (Saoirse was also one who loved to smash chairs and bottles on men's heads), but he worried about the girl. Even though she wasn't as fragile as it seemed, she always ended with a black eye, bleeding head, unconscious...

But Saoirse had a great love. When she wasn't too drunk, she would dedicate to it, body and soul: a fiddle that had belonged to her mother.

On the days that was too cold to go out, she would shut herself into her room, and play her fiddle till she fainted.

Now, as for the repertoire, not even Saoirse understood how come she knew so many songs. All she could remember was that whenever she slept, she would lie on the lap of a red-headed woman, who sang to her and caressed her hair, on a meadow.

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Damn the hour Tom hired her! Now that boy wouldn't stop watching her. Not that that he was a bad boy, but there was something about him Saoirse didn't like. She hated the protective and compassionate way he started to act after Tom told him she was after all a woman. Now he always tried to converse amenities with Saoirse, any subject. Apparently, there weren't enough women in London. She complained to Tom about Jimmy, but Tom was not about to change his position. He said Jimmy was a good boy and needed that job. He lost his previous job and as one knows, everyone needs to eat.

Saoirse felt sorry and went to talk to Jimmy. It shouldn't be easy to lose their job's in days like these.

"What was your previous job?" she pried.

"Ever heard of Tom Norman?"

"No." said Saoirse, feigning interest.

"I worked for him, I was his assistant. He was very famous, you probably don't remember. He helped many people, you know? We worked on the Freak Show Business. Many people who didn't have where to go asked a job to Tom and he helped them."

So that what was wrong with that boy! She left his side without a word and went to talk to Tom by the back of the bar.

"Do you know what that little bastard worked on before coming here?" she asked, indignant.

"Saoirse, my love..." Tom pondered "Look around you. This is a bar, people come here to drink and have a good time. Frankly, what must I demand of someone who wants to work in such a place? Unless he is dangerous, of course... Everyone has their secrets. Especially you, an Irish aristocrat lady who picks fights."

Saoirse was shocked. Of course Tom had to know. But the boy had no ethics, in her opinion...

"Come on, give the boy a chance. He likes you, cares about you. Doesn't find it right a lady to behave that way. And also finds it dangerous. Isn't that enough?"

"Well, Tom, it's your bar. And really, this is a dump, anyway. I think I only keep coming here because I'm too drunk to notice."

"Mind your manners, girl. If you need your so called 'respite', you need my trust." said Tom.

Saoirse scoffed at Tom, filled a glass with stark beer and went by to sit alone. Jimmy threw her sidelong glances every once in a while. A few men at the other table stared at her, whispered and laughed. She would deal with them later.

Or maybe not. Tonight, Saoirse only waited. But didn't know what for. And to complete she had drunk too much. Another dreamless night.