Author's Note
Attention, targets. Agent A speaks. . . So Agent R and I are writing a book called Ultimate Madness Cliche featuring some of the best cliche scenes ever. If you're up for another set of laughs, I highly suggest you read it (though be prepared to read awful grammar and narration). It's very hard writing it, even to us. I bet by the end chapter of the book, R and I are barely alive and breathing. Although I can't deny the laughter this book brings to our wattpad life.
Warning:
DON'T. LET. IT. AFFECT. YOUR. WRITING. STYLE.
READ IT.
BUT.
LEARN. TO. BLOCK. ITS. HORRIBLE. GRAMMAR.
Agent J here, let's go on about author's note then.
Author's note. They're fine to inform your readers about tiny details and giving small shout outs to people who helped you with covers and editing your story and stuff.
But other than that? Shut up. Seriously.
You've all already experienced that frustrating feeling you get when you're patiently waiting for an update and when the person does, you realised that half of the chapter is in fact the author telling you stuff like:
1. I'm so sorry for something!
I'm terribly sorry for a long update! I'm sorry it's not amazing! I'm so sorry it's so boring, yada yada. At least this is toleratable.
2. My Oh-So-Brilliant life that you all are dying to know about!
*TEEHEE* Well this guy just like asked me out I'm totally in love that's why this chapter is like oh-my-God so heartwarming. Also like, I had a potato last night. Okay we get it, but we really don't care.
3. My super duper exciting next chapter that I must write a paragraph about to tell you how excited I actually am.
I'M WRITING IN CAPS TO SHOW YOU HOW IMPORTANT IT IS SO THAT YOU ALL CAN BE EXCITED WITH ME. Let me also insert all these adorable smileys because t's just too cute. ^___^ o___O OhMyLordI'mTooExcitedToEnterSpaces. <---- This is rather annoying.
4. Allow me to threaten you because I just can't move on without votes/comments. (Go die.)
Oh look at me, people couldn't possibly want to read on unless I get comments! So let's make them! I simply don't care if they all just say upload next chappie please, I just totally need meaningless comments! And votes, my dear votes.
Go. Screw. A. Fat. Cow.
*Agent R here*
Author's note, I trust you guys have seen that. Now, I don't mind if the author's note is relevant to the story, but if the author's note is about the godly writer's personal life
*insert story here*
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AN:
OMG so, i went to this concert yesterday and saw this this really hot guy. i went up to him and asked him for his number and he gave it to me, oh and my BFF is amazing and afuh;euhfua;jf;eywEAFEUFH;AJFADJFAIUEHGA;EGJBA;UV
AEFUHA;UEBAUB;KUVEHFAJEF
UHUFA;EHFUWFUEFUFKA;JNDANFEUFEOFHUALFNJENFA;KJFNKAUEHFAUOEHFAEFEAIFJELIFJAKENFAKEFNEKHJFEUAFHEUAFNEAJFNOIEWF84WY83IWHJKEWNFJKEHFUEF;JNFKAUEHFAENFEAJKFAEFKUHEOFHA;EFJEALFEUEHQF;EUBFEA;HFEOWHGIEHFAEHFKA;EUFAK;JNVKEJN;HUEU
(R: I SWEAR I saw ^ this in a story. The best part was it wasn't even an AN. The real story was two paragraphs, followed by nonsense like that. Ask A, I thought my laptop'd gone insane. I hope the writer of that story isn't reading this. Oh well, even if she is I just want to say this is truly awful. If there were a vote down button on Wattpad, I would press it. No, not once, but I would create hundreds of account just so I can vote down on it. On second thought, maybe not because I'm naturally lazy like that.)
Going on, author's note.
It's practically the only way a writer can communicate with all his or her writer. I don't blame you for having author's note, but do make them relevant, and please please don't make them half a page or more than your actual chapter. That really sucks.
Agent A speaks. . . AGAIN.
Authors.
A/N is made for you to announce/say something you wish your readers to know about. Actually, if you're going to flood them with nonsensical notes that are not relevant to the story, why not just use your message board? It will be a whole lot easier, than putting your readers -who probably don't even care -to boredom. Spare them the terror of having to scroll down or up, just to read the actual contents of the update.
Apologizing is forgivable.
Asking for votes, well, go die!
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For our next rant.
"nice story! if u lyke it check out my story its similar!"
^Don't we all love those lovely comments?
Published by Agent R
Ranted by Agent J
Being lazy, Agent A
BINABASA MO ANG
WattRant 101 - The Agents' Wrath
RandomSo you think you've escaped our keen eyes? Guess what. You didn't. This is the secret records of our targets. Beware, you might just be one of them.
