My Italian Summer (On hold indefinitely)

My Italian Summer [3]

Italy. What can I say? So far I am not too impressed. Why? I hear you asking. Well. Let me tell you why... The trip there alone has been disastrous to say the least! On my first flight I had to sit on a plane for 9 hours. Yes, nine. I was hungry, thirsty and bored. I bet you are thinking; why not eat and drink then? I’ll tell you why. Because even though I ordered an amazing sounding meal prior to boarding the plane so they would have it prepared for me-they fucked up. So, instead of enjoying a chicken Parma Jana I was stuck with a vegetarian meal. The last time I ate vegetables I was seven.

Moving on to plane fiasco number two- When I finally got to get off the plane on my stop over I was delighted. A chance to stretch my legs, go for a walk, have a bit of freedom? Wrong again. I had to stay in a shitty little room with a bunch of other freaky people – and not just for an hour or two. For Ten. Whole. Hours. Yeah.  Delays can all go die.

Then when I finally got on the last plane an obnoxious French boy sat next to me and boy could he talk! He actually did not shut up the whole flight and I wanted to jump out the window so I didn’t have to listen to another second of this boys annoying chatter about how much he loved Europe and how much he loved the fashion. Oh, and did you know that he wanted to become a real live doctor when he finished Uni? Really, I am not even lying. How exciting is that?

And as if all my plane angst wasn’t enough, when I finally arrive in Rome I find out that I have to take a train for six whole hours to get to my destination. And the train is packed with creepy old men who look like Italian gangsters. And a woman with a wailing child. No, not crying. Wailing. Loudly. Oh shit someone kill this kid before I do!

Oh and did I mention the bag that had all my undies in it got lost somewhere in transition? Yeah. Cherry on top of the fucking cake. So now I am faced with a stop where it appears there are some fancy looking shops open despite the time(1am) so I decided it would be a good idea to buy some more.

Stupid idea. Very, very stupid Ada. Not only was the sales assistant a creepy lesbian-she also offered to ‘help’ me try on several different role play costumes. I think I should be given the award for the most unlucky Polish/Italian girl in the world. I eventually decided that Victoria secret would have to do for my holiday undies and ended up buying a ridiculous amount to keep me happy. Hah take that Mark, maybe next time you won’t give the rebellious teenager her own credit card eh?

I finally relaxed when I got back on the train and huddled up in my own compartment, finally... a chance to sleep and block out the horrendous past 36 hours that I desperately hoped weren’t a sign of what was to come over the next 3 and a half months. I grabbed out my headphones and began blasting Matt Corby at his maximum volume. Ah, so relaxing. So beautiful, Matt Corby, he is so delicious. I LOVE MATT COR-

“So then I told him, I’m not a little boy anymore! I do not want to go to Italy for the fuckin’ summer! I’m a fuckin’ adult and I can do whatever I want! The only reason I came here was for Nona and Mum man, I swear to god they are the only thing keeping me sane lately,” some random guy practically yelled into his phone before he slumped in the chairs in front of me. If this douche bag doesn’t shut up I will rip his pretty little head off I swear to god. It’s 2am for fucks sake!  Has he never heard of an indoor voice?

I took a break from mentally abusing him for a moment to check him out and to be honest, I liked what I saw. Hey! Don’t judge! He’s a hot boy, I like hot boys, therefore I like him. Well, technically I like his looks, so far I despise him and I also despise trains and stupid Italy.

Breathe, Ada. Breathe. In, out, in, out. I could feel sleep tugging at me despite the rude yelling boy so I decided to relent and let it, just for a few moments...