Drown

Chapter 2

The drive home was anything but boring.  Aaron didn't lie when he said that Greyson was a very talkative, intelligent person.  He and Aaron talked, I mostly listened.  Greyson kept spitting out facts and ideas he had, Aaron would just laugh.  Greyson kept looking at me, looking at him, and smiling; another reason I kept quiet.  During the drive, I learned a lot more about Greyson.

 He was a writer, which made sense considering all that seemed to go on in his head.  He was nineteen, like me.  Despite living in England for at least ten years, he didn't have the slightest bit of an accent.  He hated the color yellow.  He refused to own more than could fit in one backpack (besides his heaps of journals), and he always slept in his clothes.  His reason for these things, was so he'd always have an easy escape.

When we got back to our apartment building I ran ahead of Aaron and Greyson.  I probably looked a bit crazy, but I needed a second to myself.  I went into my bathroom and looked in the mirror.  I tried to make eye contact with myself, but found it hard.  I couldn't think about anything but the gnawing in my stomach.  Something had happened between our eyes.  Greyson had to have felt it too.  

"Quit acting so shy!"  I heard Aaron call from outside the door. "First you don't talk in the car and now you're hiding in the bathroom?"

"I promise I'm not toxic!"  Greyson added, the smile on his face audible.  

I felt my heart start beating faster at the sound of his voice.  Now I was getting angry at myself.  

What do you think?

Do you think you're in love?

That's bullshit.

I found myself kicking the cabinet below the sink one time, then forcing myself out of the bathroom.

"Did you break something?"  Aaron asked. "Luca, are you okay?"

"Yes.  I'm fine."  I said quickly, walking by him.

I went into the kitchen and got a bottle of water from the fridge.  When I turned around, Greyson was spinning around on one of the chairs at the breakfast bar.

"This place is so big.  I don't get how you guys afford it."  He said, keeping his eyes on the ceiling.

"You guys."  Aaron said, motioning to Greyson and I.  "But I think someone got murdered here.  That's the only reason the price should be so low."

"Doesn't bother me!"  Greyson smiled, hopping off the chair and making his way to the fridge. "So, I'll buy my own food soon.  But for now, is anything in here Luca-limited?"  

"What?"  I asked, only zoning in because I heard my name.

"Is there anything in here that I'm not allowed to eat?" he asked.

"Oh, no.  Go ahead."  I sighed.

"For fuck's sake, Luca!"  Aaron snapped, slamming his hand down on the table. "Why are you being so short with him?  You're never this rude.  Greyson didn't do anything to you."

"I'm not trying to be mean."  

"Then stop acting like you're too good for him or something."  He groaned. "Now how about we all just go order a pizza and watch a movie or something?  I happen to know that both of you love anything with Adam Sandler in it."

"I guess.  But isn't he checking out in like, half an hour?"  I asked.

"What?"  Greyson asked me, even though I hadn't spoken to him.

"Your thing." I explained. "It's eight thirty, so you're going to get all weird soon."

I watched the light in his eyes change, and my heart sank into my stomach.  I had no idea why I was acting like such an asshole.   All I really wanted to do was hug him, but I just kept throwing verbal punches.

"You know, you're right.  I uh, I'm going to go to bed.  I might as well.  See you in the morning."

Before anyone could fight him, the door was closed to Aaron's room, which was now his.  

"Hey, Luca."  Aaron said, his voice holding a bit of angry laughter.  "You're a piece of shit."

I sat down on the couch and put my head in my hands.  I was so, unbelievably mad at myself.

"He isn't going to bed, man!  Greyson hardly ever sleeps!  His thing doesn't let him!"  he snapped.

I tried to say something, but Aaron kept going.

"He's going to sit in there picking himself apart, all night!  He didn't do a thing to you, and you're acting like he killed your fucking dog!  He's going to analyze every moment he's spent with you to try and figure out what he did to piss you off.  But he's not going to find anything, because you're just acting like a huge fucking dick!"  

"I don't know why I'm acting like this."  I sighed.

"Could it be because you think you like him, and you're afraid of your feelings?"  Aaron asked.

I looked up at him with wide eyes.  

"Like it isn't obvious."  he huffed. "I'm not blind.  I saw how you were looking at him in the car."

I felt my face turning red.  

"You don't even deserve to know this, but he was looking at you like that too."

A smile tried to come onto my lips, but Aaron quickly fought it.

"Don't go getting all happy.  I'm sure you ruined whatever was there.  You made the poor guy feel like shit.  So if you want any chance at all, you're going to be treating him like a god from now on."

"You said you didn't want me with him.  Why are you telling me this stuff?"  I asked.

"I said you couldn't hook up with him.  I never said you couldn't love him.  And if I read those looks in the car correctly..."  he said, trailing off toward the end of the sentence.

"I'm going to go apologize."  I said, standing up.

"There's no point.  Considering the state of mind he left in, he's already clocked out for the night."

"I feel like such a jerk."  I said, sitting back down.

"That's because you were acting like one."  Aaron laughed, still angry.  

I looked at my feet.  There was nothing left for me to say.

"I'm going to bed.  I'm using your room.  I'll be leaving at five in the morning.  You can say goodbye then."

I watched Aaron walk down the hall and slam the door to my bedroom shut.  Then I just sat there, by myself, thinking.  I couldn't decide if I was happy or sad.  On one hand, I knew that Greyson felt something too, and Aaron had given me permission to do something about those feelings.  But on the other hand, Aaron was leaving, and I had possibly ruined anything that Greyson had felt.  All I could do was try to sleep, and prepare myself for what the future could bring me.