“Caffeine is illegal”
Prompt party 1
Pat looked up as a knock sounded loud against her front door. “Shit,” she cursed, looking down at the cup in her hands and back up at the door. “Shit, shit shit.” She ran to the kitchen and poured the cups contents out into the sink and looked over at the pot on the counter. “I can’t just throw it all out,” She whined to herself as the front door was kicked down.
Police swarmed in all around her, guns pointed at her head, chest and abdomen. “You’re under arrest!” They yelled.
Deflated, and too tired to really argue, she turned around to allow the police to cuff her. As the metal wrapped around her wrists, she caught movement out of the corner of her eyes – one of the officers was emptying the contents of the pot into the sink. As the delicious, brown liquid washed down the sink, Pat turned away – this was all too much for somebody who hadn’t had a proper cup of coffee in two months.
Doug walked into the office building, chipper and wide-awake. He waved at the security guard, and was subsequently flipped off. Not one to let the little things get to him; he just smiled and said hello to the man that was waiting for the elevator with him. “Good morning, Jerry!” He exclaimed, grin as wide, and awake as he was.
Jerry glared. “Fuck off,” He growled, eyes glinting murderously beneath the sleep boogers he’d not removed that morning.
Again, unaffected on this beautiful sunny Monday morning, Doug laughed it off, and clapped Jerry on the shoulder in the friendliest way he could muster. “Don’t worry, Jerry, the day will get better if you let it.”
Jerry’s look was positively murderous as the elevator dinged.
They rode the elevator up to the seventh floor – Jerry silently glaring in his sleep-deprived haze, at the elevator doors, and Doug tapping his foot along to the music. Jerry could have killed him.
As the doors opened, Doug grinned at the coworkers standing outside their cubicles. Part of him wondered why they all looked so miserable – there’s nothing better than getting up early in the morning to have a nice, productive day. “Hey, Susan, Janet, Alice – How are you? It’s been a few days!” He pointed his fingers to the coworkers a little farther away and his grin seemed to get impossibly brighter. “Mark! Vinny! Isn’t today a great day?”
All those he’d called out, looked at him from their respective places across the office, and, like Jerry, gave him a murderous sleep deprived glare. They groaned their displeasure.
Alice groaned loudest, dropping her head down on the desk and hoping for a much needed nap.
****
“Password?” Jenny questioned as she slid open the hatch on the door to the basement.
“Police.”
Her eyes went wide as she slammed the hatch closed and ran down the stairs. “Get rid of it! Get rid of all of it! The police found us!” For a moment nobody moved – too engrossed in the heavenly liquid in their cups, and trying out different blends. When her words finally registered, two cups fell to the ground – everyone turned to stare at the people that had dropped the cups. And then down to look at the coffee seeping into the carpet in shock.
“The coffee -,” Somebody said, sounding about as heartbroken as a man who had just lost his wife to some type of cancer.
“The police are here,” Jenny repeated, “Put something over it, and pour everything else out into the sink!”
“But – coffee,” Another patron whimpered. A man pulled her into a hug and petted her hair.
Suddenly the door at the top of the stairs burst open and footsteps thudded down the steps. Everyone in the basement froze as four police officers came into sight. One held a pink box under his right arm.
One of the officers stepped forward. “We have suspicion to believe you’re keeping coffee down here. As you are all aware, caffeine – coffee – is illegal. If you have coffee you’re breaking the law.”
Another officer stepped past the others. “I can smell it.” He shivered, and moved towards the coffee pots.
“Please – there’s, there’s nothing wrong with coffee. It just helps us get through the day!” A man called out, sounding absolutely terrified. Not of going to jail – but of losing his first cup of coffee in eight months.
“There’s plenty wrong with coffee,” The third officer retorted as set down the box on one of the tables. “Perhaps, most important, is it’s addictive qualities.”
Jenny’s eyes narrowed as she looked down at the pink box. It looked oddly familiar. Almost like –“
“Please don’t take it.” A woman called out, pushing through the group of patrons, “Please. Some of us have four kids, two dogs, and a morning person for a spouse. We can’t live without our coffee. It’s everything.”
“Yes,” The first officer said, walking over to the box on the table, “And some of us work graveyard shifts and then are expected in at eight in the morning the next day. Which is why we’re here.”
The officers grinned as each pulled a coffee cup form behind their backs, “Could we please have a share? Or, at the very least,” The first officer lifted the lid on the cup and pulled out a sprinkle donut, “Can we dip these in a cup? We – we haven’t had coffee since they enacted the ban, and we’re dying. I’m sure you know the police force relied heavily on coffee, and we -,”
“Help yourselves – so long as we can have some of those donuts,” Jenny interrupted, grinning wide.
The world had gone a little mad without their caffeine, but at least donuts were still legal. And, at least they could count on each other to find some way to get their caffeine fix.
****
“Goooooooood morning, everyone!” Doug called as he walked into work on Tuesday morning.
Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at each other. Vinny nodded to Alice and Alice nodded to Mark. They all stood from their seats, or pushed away from the wall and advanced on Doug. Doug smiled in confusion at them, “What’s going on, guys?”
There was a strange glint in their eyes as they each pulled office supplies out from behind their back – staplers, pens, pencils – anything they could their hands on. He watched them for a moment before his own eyes went wide and he ran back towards the elevator. He pressed the button repeatedly.
His coworkers had gone crazy.
And, he was pretty sure they were about to find him.
Wednesday morning; 9:55am
“The victims name is Doug Bower. He was found last night under the East Bridge.”
“Do we know anything else?” Detective Janice Elridge questioned, looking over the reports from witnesses.
The officer nodded, “Yes, ma’am. Everyone in his office says he was a morning person. Any one of them could be suspects at this point.”
The detective dropped the file on her desk and rubbed at her temples. “We have had more murders since the ban of caffeine than we’ve had since I started working in this damn office. What the fuck was the government thinking?”
“I’m not sure, but even his family said that at this point, they weren’t surprised he was killed. She even suspects that his entire office took part in his murder.”
“That’d be ridiculous.”
“But it wouldn’t be the first time.”
Detective Elridge nodded, “Bring them all in.” As the officer walked away she looked down at the report and shook her head again. “The world has gone fucking mad.”
