My skin prickles under my chin
and tingles under my boobs
I'm stinging round my ribs and
drying out on my cheekbones
my inside elbows sweat
raw and blotched
and the back of my legs
are damp and wet
I'm sitting in my bed
well, mattress on the floor
waiting for the whizzing thoughts
in my hot head
to cease and dredge no more
My armpits are clammy
I've just had a shower
my heart aches in my ribs
it seems things have gone sour
A pumping, pulling of flesh
inside, somewhere on the left
I've melted the ice pack
with my sweltering, sticky back
My skin feels dry and tight
I wish I didn't notice it
slightly burning and pulsating
how can I soothe it
Try to relax, lay still
maybe I should take a few pills
don't bother with this anymore
not sure if I feel loved or even respected
or exactly what I'm in this world for
I'm getting picked on and ignored
told what to do and
when to go to bed
how much tv to watch
and how many Euro I should spend
Told to be appreciative
of economies being made
when nothing is said of
the price that I have paid
All done by me with love
and implicit trust
I didn't do it for gratitude
or to be praised
But to save witnessing the desolation
separation and desecration
of my loved ones
my one and only
Yet my reality is
harshness of voice and
a stony attitude
my spirit sinks and drifts
I hope one day
before I die
to see kind regard in his eyes
to know I am loved
will make my soul fly
