CONTINGENT

05

05

        I was in shocked. I am bending my knees trying to reach Ethan, the man I didn’t knew but still guarded me. I tasted salty liquid that came from my eyes. It’s odd that I did spare a single tear for the man I didn’t know or if what he told me is right, the man I didn’t remember, the man just made a confession about his feelings. But I did attack him. I hurt him. The impact of my attack was so hard. He is lying in there. Hurt and in extreme pain. And then he isn’t breathing.

          Everything turn into black. The motion of the present stopped. Their heart beats stopped. The thought of them being hurt and was attack by me freeze. Everything was so still, like nothing ever happened. I have stopped the arms of the time like I was trying to escape, I’m trying to - disappear. After the deep darkness, comes the light that is so bright that blinds me. Truth meets me.

          They were holding me. The regime officials. They dragged me down to sit. I am in their quarters. I am seeing their official seal, a symbol of justice and peace was marked. But it wasn’t been that in the Contingent.

          A man asked several questions that I couldn’t even understand. I couldn’t interpret. And there, I see myself being interrogated by the Regime officials. I see so clearly. It’s my reflection of the past. I see myself afraid, and I could sense the feeling of fear that consumes me. And I could hear my own thoughts loud and clear in that moment. Like I was in that body of the past. I desperately craves for details of my identity. I know in my own self that this isn’t real.

          But having thought of it, I have to search for details. So I just pretend.

          “What is your name young lady?” said the white-suited man.

          I stared at him. Trying to look at his fined features of his face. He is attractive. But I could see unrefined lines that speaks that he aged. Trying to crack at his closed thoughts. Unfolding his thoughts and thinking. Unraveling his identity. And I could see opposing thoughts between darkness and light. I could see, that he was gloomed by his power and authority. But no matter how dark is the room, a single spot of light can illuminates his self. But he is blinded by the dark. He couldn’t see it. Maybe, I already have seen it. I forgot.

          “I am talking to you, have you also lost your tongue besides your mind?” he said. I did nothing, but stare at him. Feeling my fear, losing myself, confusion and breaking my cognition of breathing.

          I have been put in a closed room. With a clear screen that make it look to have a reflection of what is inside. It was a mirror. I see myself, the horror that marked my face. The terror of my thoughts, of why have I been put in here in the first place. I didn’t knew. It was hard – the fact of not knowing. But I did seem to have done terrible for me to be caged. The deafening silence and the white-like metal of the room jitters me to panic. I feel like all eyes was on me. They can see me through the mirror, in which I see myself.

          “Little girl, we have found out that your name was Alyson.” Said a voice, it’s more of a robotic or a computer toned. I couldn’t tell where it came from. Maybe they have noticed me glaring at the mirror. “Yes, you’re right. I’m here and you’re consistently looking straight to my eye, brilliant.” That voice said.

          “During your stay inside our quarters, you have been sentence to acquire couple of tests and we need your utmost cooperation.” It was a voice from a woman’s.

          “This was in regard of the incident of you, murdering your mother.”