therapy » hood

04

04 ✖  showing regret

day 4

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I woke up at 5am taking short, quick gasps of air. I didn't realize I had been shaking until I took my arm to my forehead and saw it shaking. I was also crying and sweating, a lot. Maybe it was due to the fact that I had woken up from a terrible, terrible nightmare.

I sat myself, trying to catch my breath in a better position.

The vision I had when I looked at my side frustrated me. I was alone, again. Like I mentioned before, Calum wasn't one to trust; he would fall asleep beside you and be gone by the time you wake up. I shouldn't feel frustrated at all though, I already knew that was going to happen and I also knew that Calum didn't have a reason to stay because we didn't have nothing going on. We weren't nothing to each other and we never were even though there was a moment I wish we were something more. 

Then again, I was bipolar. So I could go from love to hate and from hate to love pretty fast. I liked him when I fell asleep and I woke up hating him. And I've always wanted to. Perhaps because hate was something easier to feel than love; easier to cope.

I pushed myself off my bed and entered in the bathroom to wash myself up. I needed to take the sweat off my body and clean my face and greasy hair.

-

I slipped a pair of light blue jeans up over my hips. Then I grabbed a white crop-top and raised my hands above my head with the clothing in my hands. I took a side in each of my hands and brought it over my head, my hair going everywhere. I quickly dropped the item of clothing to my shoulders and finished putting it on. I put my white converse on my feet, they were the same pair of shoes I had when I first met Calum and I also noticed he wore the same shoes as me.

**

I held a tight grip on my books as soon as I stepped into the big hall of the new school. It was my very first day and all I could hear was the whispers "she's the daughter of the most rich people in town" "such a snob little bitch" "she dresses all fancy but I bet that's all a big facade" "if I try to be friends with her, just know that it's about the money I could get from her" "richy weirdo". I took a deep breath and with my eyes fixed on the floor, I counted the little squares patterned on the pavement until I reached my locker. 

I looked up trying to remember the combination of numbers the principal had told me earlier. I felt a presence of a person standing next to me. He or she, or whoever it was, was creeping me out. When I finally looked from the white converse me and the other person had matching up to the their face, I realized it was a boy.

He had a huge smile plastered on their face while I held a scared expression. I was scared of everyone, I was a scared little shit. I looked him in the eye, not knowing that I would soon lose myself in his beautiful brown eyes. I wasn't very fond of brown eyes since they were common and had an ugly colour. But damn, his eyes were beautiful. They shined brighter than diamonds, and believe me, being me the child of the most rich people in Australia, I had seen lots of diamonds. I owned a couple even though I didn't like them. 

''Hi, I'm Calum!' Calum Hood' He greeted. ''I'm the captain of the football team and the guy who show's the school to new people.''

''Athena, Athena Williams'' I replied in a low tune. ''I'm the new kid." I said before looking at the floor again and trying to open the locker. 

''Nice to meet you, Athena!'' He chirped. ''Do you want help with the locker?'' 

I nodded and handed him a piece of paper with the combo of the locker. He smiled down at me before easily opening the locker and taking my schedule out of the inside.