|| Lighting || Sergi Roberto And Madison Beer Fanfiction (ON HOLD)

RIP chester

i know i'm pretty late but now I've seem to grasp the fact that this isn't some sick joke, he is truly dead

i still cant believe he is dead, ya'know whats worse? he saved my life, hes voice is the reason that you guys are reading this book, i'm not here to talk about my mental issues i'm here to pay my respect to a legend.

as a fan i'm having hard time dealing with his dead, i cannot imagine what his family is going through right now, my thoughts and prayer are with his family/friends/fans,

i feel like I've been punched in the gut because the guy who saved my life killed himself instead.

I truly feel guilty. During all these years, I enjoyed their music, his lyrics, his voice, without knowing he was still suffering from severe depression. I thought he was talking about his past only and, especially when they took the path Minutes to Midnight/A Thousand Suns, I thought he had left these dark days behind him. I thought that he was making this music for us, I would never have imagined it was a scream for help. Now, their songs make much more sense in a way. And, as I thought I was a huge fan, I never understood that. Even worst for the last album. That was a clear way to say goodbye to everyone, he was seriously thinking about suicide way before. Chris' death was what literally pushed him to do it, and he had probably planned it from a while. It's so sad, I can't even cry because my parents wouldn't understand why I make such a big deal about a "celebrity death". But he's not a celebrity for me.

He was like a dear friend, and he still is. Linkin Park got me into music like NO other group did. Chester is the one that got me into loving singing, always wondering how amazing the human voice can be. Even though I never experienced depression, I was feeling their songs so much, his voice was so powerful and expressive, because he was actually suffering ... I really wished transforming that suffering into art would have helped him. Unfortunately, not enough to save his life and fight his demons ... I still don't believe it, part of me don't want to and is just denying it inside of me. I will write a song for you Chester. I feel extremely bad and I'm a stranger to you, I can't even imagine what the band, the family and friends are going through right now. Chester,

you left us empty. But please, understand that unlike what you might have thought, in the end, it DID matter. Because, the wonderful human being you were made a lot of people go through their depression, feel better, discover the power of music, thanks to you and to Linkin Park. You have lost your battle, but you allowed many many more to WIN theirs. So yes, it DID matter. I missed my last chance to see LP on live, in Paris during the download festival, and I feel very sorry about that. The day before your death, I was singing along with you and Mike during your entire concert at Red Square Moscow, old one but still my favorite. I was having a lot of fun and enjoyed every minute of it, like if I was there. Thank you, thank you so much for sharing that amazing voice and human being you were with us. I haven't cried yet, I know it will eventually come by the time I truly realize what happened. "When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done, help me live behind some reasons to be missed" "Don't resent me, and when you're feeling empty, keep me in your memory, leave out all the rest, leave out all the rest" You will deeply be missed. RIP. chester.