Defiant (Camp NaNoWriMo April 2014)

4: Secrets

A creaking floorboard wakes me up early in the morning of Matching Day. I automatically reach for the nearest weapon, which happens to be the silver candlestick on my bedside table, and throw it at the intruder. I apologise immediately when I recognise the voice that cries out in pain and then I start freaking out again because we’d both get in so much trouble if my parents discovered that he’s in my room. Not to mention the assumption they might make if they found him here of all places.

     “Why are you here Henry?”

     “I wanted to speak to you before the Matching Ceremony. I know that you’re scared about what might happen today so I need to reassure you that I’ll be here for you no matter what matches you get.”

     He takes a seat at my dressing table and I notice that he’s still dressed in blue striped pyjamas; his hair standing up at all angles. I’m guessing that he’s tossed and turned all night, then eventually given up on sleep, just as I have. In his hands he’s holding the book from my mother’s library.

     “You know that I’ll be there for you too, right? You’re my best friend. I don’t care what matches you get, they don’t define who you are.”

     “I’ve always known that you’ll be here for me no matter what. It was obvious from the very first day we were friends. You’ve never cared that I’m a lesser than you.”

     Classes have never mattered to me. I don’t value one person more than another just because of where they come from or how much money they have. Classes are a creation made by the council to allow us to remain divided amongst ourselves. There’s nothing that can be done about that though, especially not by me. I have to be the perfect daughter. I have to marry some rich bloke just to keep our image. My mind fast forwards to after the Matching Ceremony when I’ll probably be faced with another of Darius’s proposals.

     “Here’s the book I borrowed.”

     “You’ve finished it?”

     He nods. There’s silence and I decide that I need my best friend’s help with the whole Darius situation. Perhaps he can give me some advice. I could really do with someone completely convincing me to say no.

     “I think Darius plans to propose again tonight and if he does I want to say no to him.”

     “Well I say go for it but I suppose you feel you should say yes.”

     “You’re right. My mother wants me to say yes and I think it might be best if I do.”

     “The question you should ask yourself is whether you’ll be happy if you say yes.”

     I shake my head. “My happiness doesn’t matter. If I say no it’ll be bad for Darius and it’ll look bad for my family. I’d disgrace my parents.”

     “You need to stop putting everyone else before yourself. If you don’t want to marry him, don’t.”

     “I’ll try.”

     We talk for a little while longer but then Henry has to leave to get ready for the day. Betty knocks on my bedroom door to wake me. She gives me my best dress for today’s ceremony and then spends ages styling my hair up into delicate curls. Everyone makes an effort for Matching Day so I try not to get annoyed when I’m forced to wear layers of fabric that weigh me down. Why does a dress need so much fabric to make it stick out? And why is it necessary for the circumference of the bottom of my dress to be as big as a table top?

     My father is also dressed in his finest suit and waits for me by the front door. However, my mother won’t be attending the occasion. She thinks it’s beneath her to attend a mundane ceremony at a disgusting school, especially surrounded by so many inferior people. Sometimes it shocks me just opposite we are. How is it that I grew up learning to accept everyone no matter where they came from when I was raised by a woman as stuck up as her? Not that I hate her, but she must realise how selfish she comes across as. Am I disappointed that she doesn’t want to be there to support me on the most important day of my life? No - I’m used to how she acts now. I know she isn’t doing this because she hates me, it’s just the way she is.