Missing You

Hello, everyone! I'll keep this short, for the poem is longer than I thought it would be! :-) I've been on a long absence lately. Part of it was due to finals and the performance of Bye Bye Birdie I was involved in, which ended last Sunday. However, there was another issue entirely that I thought y'all should know about.

Recently, I found out that a fairly close friend of mine has been bullied for the whole of his life: he cuts, burns, and is bulimic. Two months ago, he attempted suicide. I only found out about this recently, and it really hurt to discover that fact that Andrew--a beautiful person, kind and accepting--wasn't being accepted in his own life.

Due to how deeply that affected me, I've been gone for a few weeks. Today, I wrote this poem, just to get some things off my chest. I'll post a longer Author's Note next, but please, if you would, read it. Maybe someday YOU will help someone get through a hard time. :-)

                                                                 "Missing You"

Sitting in a darkened room

Clutching to my chest a wooden square

Containing a constant reminder of

What horrendous crime I committed;

The guilt that flows within my body, throughout my veins

Held before my face

Eyes graze the pigment of the canvas

Expressive eyes, teeming with light, joy, and vivacious sparkle

Silky hair, gracing your skin in gentle but wild waves

And that smile...

Sharp pangs litter my abdomen,

Striking my heart,

As I force myself to look at the bittersweet likeness

The smile that could light up a room, cause the sun to appear on a rainy day

Pierces through the wall of glass

Stifling my heart

Salt water overwhelms my blank eyes

Spilling down pale cheeks

A ghost of what was once

Me

I pull the image to my chest

Looking away,  trying desperately to hide

From the pain

As I finally succumb to

The hurt and helpless, hopeless desperation

I remember...

I

Remember

The night was clear, stars

Glittering brilliantly above

I smiled as we sat

Side by side

Arms brushing

What's up?

My own naive, oblivious words ring through my mind

Slicing open raw wounds

I need to talk to you.

You told me