Lifesaver

October

There is a crystal clear lake in some part of New Jersey I visit every year with my family. There's a rope hanging from an oak tree to swing on. The water is always this beautiful shade of light blue as it deepens the further you swim. My most blissful family moments and memories are in this lake.

Every August we would take the three hour ride there to get away from the city of New York. The sun shone brighter and the wind blew softer. My family and I would have a BBQ; we would eat steak and corn on the cob, amongst other things. Every year when something rough happened I would think of this nameless lake and how I would be going there soon.

On the summer of 2011 I went back to the lake with my family as always. My mother, my father and my little brother whom I loved to pieces, Ronan. It was one of the first years Ronan came to the lake and it was probably one of the best trips to the lake I could remember.

But it was also the last best trip because afterwards nothing was ever the same.

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A stream of light flows into the open shades of my room and I jump awake. Normally what seems like a peaceful environment really isn't. My mind is clear at this very moment and all doubts are gone for 10 seconds more until reality sinks in.

Following my regular routine, I get out of bed, take a shower, get dressed, put my hair up, throw some powder on my face and go down stairs to have breakfast before I head out to school.

In the kitchen stands my mother whom is only 38 years old, which if you think about, is not a lot. She has blonde hair and blue eyes and is in all accounts, beautiful. But beauty has left her in many shapes and forms. Now she looks more like 45. Her hair has started to turn grey from stress, wrinkles appear on the corners of her eyes in the rare occasion she smiles. The warmth of her eyes and smile are both almost never there.

Sitting on a chair in the dining table is Ronan. Ronan, his name sounds like Christmas bells to my ears. My little brother and the only person in this universe I surely know I love with is him.

"Savannah! You are awake!" he screams in excitement with a smile on his sweet little face that never fails to bring a smile on mine.

I walk over to him to hug his tiny, fragile body and kiss his smooth cheek. "Hello, Mr.Handsome. How are you this morning?" I ask.

"Sav, I had a dream about green dinosaurs! They were so big and I was riding one off into into sunset. We were in Alaska-" Ronan tells me the entire plot of his previous dream as I casually walk around him to first grab breakfast and then inspect him for anything new. I see the very back of his head has a spot with no hair and I know the chemotherapy is starting to do what it does best. Not save lives like you'd expect but instead, kill the soul with the excuse it's for the best of it.

Ronan was diagnosed with cancer right after our trip to the lake on August 2011. Four days after we came back Ronan constantly complained his body was hurting and he was having trouble falling asleep. Me, my mom and my father thought that maybe the trip had tired him out but just to be sure, my mother as precautions as she is, took him to a nearby hospital when after further inspection she was directed to a cancer medical center in the city of New York. My entire world turned upside down when Ronan's new doctor, Dr. Macaria officially pronounced him with Stage III of osteosarcoma. There was pain and fear everywhere I looked. How could this happen? This wasn't real. Why Ronan?

I ate cereal in front of Ronan while he ate his and I admired him the entire time like I did almost every morning; you never know if he'd be sitting with me tomorrow or the next day. Ronan has beautiful soft, short blonde hair that was like a palette of paint with a mix of soft gold and brown, combined in perfection. His eyes are a sky blue filled with wonder. They have this sort glow when he gets really happy about something. He has a round face with bright red cheeks and lips a bit too small for his face.