Flesh and Blood

Old Habits Die Hard

Tristan, Colby and I arrived back at the house. I went inside and was crushed to see the surprise we had for Cassie so I went into the bedroom and changed into something to go out in. I made a few calls and went into the kitchen and grabbed a beer. Colby walked in and stood next to me as I leaned against the counter

"You guys are welcome to do whatever...I'm going out. Be back later."

"Jon....come on....I mean..."

"Colby. Leave it alone. I don't give a shit. I'm tired of trying. I just want to go out and 'celebrate' my birthday on the strip...like I used to before I became a parent to an ungrateful brat."

"Jon that wasn't fair. I know you're hurt, but you shouldn't say that about Cassie. You know you love her."

"Not anymore I don't. Doesn't matter. She has a big family to love, support and take care of her in Indiana and I'm just me and I can't offer her shit. Do me a favor and get this shit out of here please so when I come back I won't have to look at it."

"Jon?"

"Later"

I set the beer on the counter and walked out leaving Colby watching me with a disappointed look on his face.

Colby's POV:

Tristan and I cleaned up the stuff and got rid of it like he asked. Something was really bothering him and he seemed so distant. I didn't want to pry, but he looked like he needed to talk.  We took one last walk around the house to make sure we got everything and he paused outside of Cassie's room

"Hey. What's going on with you?  You've been really quiet and distant tonight."

"Nothin. Just have a lot on my mind."

"Does she happen to have dark hair, blue eyes and used to occupy that room?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"Jon was the first to notice the other day.  If you liked her Tristan you should've told her. Maybe you could've convinced her to stay."

He laughed "Yeah right. Her mind was made up. She knows how I felt...she was my girlfriend...we'd been together for a while. We just hid it from you two. She was worried one of you would have a problem with it. I maybe said some things tonight I shouldn't have, but I was being honest."

Cassie's POV:

Everything about this felt wrong. I sat on the bed in my room and stared out the window. I just wanted to be alone. I didn't really feel like celebrating anything after breaking my dad's heart and then being called an ungrateful, spoiled bitch by Tristan. Maybe part of what he said was right. I decided to text him and see if I could get him to talk to me

"I'm sorry Tristan"

"No you're not. Why are you talking to me? Shouldn't you be living it up with your new boyfriend?"

"Tristan please stop. I'm sitting alone in my room if you want to know. I don't want to do anything. I feel really bad."

"Don't bother. We did this for you

He sent me a picture of my room and it made me sad

"You did this?"

"Your dad's idea. It's gone now...just like you....enjoy your new/old life"

"Tristan please...I'm so sorry I hurt you and my dad. Please don't hate me"

"I told you earlier...it's too late for that. Sorry isn't going to fix what you've done. Just pretend like we don't exist over here and everything will go back to normal."

"I love you Tristan. I don't like that it's come to this."

"It didn't have to be this way. YOU made it come to this.  I don't want to do this anymore. Enjoy your life. Have a nice birthday with your family that treated you like shit while the rest of us over here who loved you, cared about you and did just about anything for you try to deal with the pain. Stop texting me Cassie."

I laid down on my bed, cuddled with the bear my dad gave me, curled into a ball and cried. This was a horrible mistake. A horrible idea. I hated myself for this. Tristan was so mad at me...I'm sure my dad is even more angry and hurt.  What have I done?

Colby's POV:

The front door slammed shut and Jon stumbled into the side table by the door. Tristan shot up from sleeping on the couch and looked at me. I sighed and we both got up and went to him. He was beyond drunk...sloppy and a mess. I guess given everything I couldn't exactly blame him. I'm sure if Tristan were old enough he'd be doing the same thing. We started slowly walking towards the bedroom. Jon was stumbling around so it was taking twice as long. He stopped walking and paused to look at a picture on the wall of him and Cassie. He batted it off the wall and sent it crashing to the floor, shattering the glass and breaking the frame

"Leave it"

He muttered as we continued down the hall. Every time he'd come across a picture of Cassie he would slap it off of the wall and tell us to leave the mess on the floor. We sat him down on the edge of his bed and I started to take off his shoes

"You loved my daughter didn't you...I already know...total waste of your time wasn't it?  I know it was for me"

Tristan looked at me confused and I shrugged  "Just brush it off. He's drunk."

"I think out of every one my daughter has dated you would've been the ONLY one I approved of. Doesn't matter though right? RIGHT?"

"Yeah...yeah you're right"

"See cuz I have this hole where my heart used to be....and see...cuz....Savannah left that hole when she died. I got Cassie back and it was gone....but now..." He made an exploding sound and continued "it's back...so the old me is back too. I just want to forget that she exists just like I did with Savannah so the pain will go away.  Do you think it'll ever go away??"

"Jon I think you need to just sober up and get some sleep. It's been a long day for everyone."

"I shouldn't've ever tried."

He was slurring and not making a lot of sense, but the pain was evident. I just wanted to go to the White's house and slap some sense into her. She made a completely selfish decision without any regard for how much those two loved her and how hard her dad fought for her. I'd never seen him like this

"Colby...I shouldn't have tried. You know...cuz what did it get me?"

He had started to cry and I was just grateful that this wasn't going to be remembered when he woke up. Tristan looked up at me

"Dad.....I..."

"Don't worry about it. Just go back to bed Tristan. I'll take care of it.  Jon, I think you  need to get some sleep and try to sober up a bit. It'll be better in the morning. We'll talk when you're not so drunk OK."

"Colby...you're my best friend and I love you....and I love Savannah...and I love Cassie. Why does my daughter hate me?"

"Jon...she doesn't hate you. I don't know what goes through her head. Just lay down and try to get some rest."

"Cuz...I feel like she hates me...what did I do that was so wrong? I...love....her..."

He was trailing off and finally went to sleep. I sat on the corner of the foot of the bed. I rubbed my hands across my face and ran my fingers through my hair and sighed deeply. This was horribly painful. I hope she was happy. I got up and left the room and headed back to the living room. Tristan was sitting on the couch visibly upset..this was a complete night from hell. I put my arm around him and sighed.