Depression

Chaper One : The Begining

first day of my freshman year, what a rush. All the nerds from last year grew up into major hotties and all  the nobodies now became somebodies weather if it was being in the newspaper, pictures in the school yearbook or even something simple like joining the schools garden. Everybody in the school was noticed some way, some how, well everyone but me. Phoebe R. Charles, the R stands for rose. I'm you're typical 9th grader only with a twist, i suffer from depression. I wasn't always like this though, my mom and dad raised me together up till i was six but then a tragedy hit making my life take a turn for the worse.

                                                                           * * *

"daddy, when is mommy coming home?" i asked. My father was a stay at home dad, all he did all day was watch me, take care of me, all the things a dad should do for their little girl. My mom on the other hand was a first class pilot for L.A air lines. She flew all over the place, to Florida and Mexico and once even to Germany! I always wanted to go with her but she always told me it was much safer on land than in air, i never understood what that meant like the true meaning "its safer" until it was broadcast all over the news. Father got a call from his brother (my uncle) Joe, who was scarcely saying or mostly screaming "turn on the five o'clock news!" so my dad did and we were both mortified by what was being shown on the TV. "tragic crash for L.A. air lines today, absolutely horrible crash, we are just now getting news that the pilot Stacy R Charles was killed with trauma to the head and a paralyzed spine. We don't know how this could have happened but investigators are thinking it could have been a incident with the engine, if you have any info on this crash please call in, and for the family of Stacy, I'm very sorry for you're loss." all i could do was collapse and cry in my fathers arms, no words could ever describe the pain in my heart. Having a six year old view her only mothers death was just the beginning. I now know that their will never be a answer to the question i asked my father, it will always stay without an answer. Looking up at my dad he could only stare at the TV, like i was'nt even in his arms looking for comfort then when he did look down at me he could only squeeze me tight whispering "ill never let you go, ill never let you go" over and over again until we both cried our self's to sleep. The next morning only got worse. My father was very busy, trying not to cry over the phone planing his wife's funeral was a very upsetting place to be in. Me on the other hand just would crawl into bed, crying, wishing this nightmare to be over, thinking it was only a bad dream and my life would go back to normal the minute i awoken, but that moment never came. From then on my life changed. My father wasn't always the person i looked up to anymore, it was like this accident completely changed him into this monster of a man. I will always remember the day i had to walk home in the cold snow only to find that he was home but to hungover to drive. What has my father become, i would always say to myself whenever i would watch him drink booze, i almost felt like a stalker watching my prey. Only bad part was when i would try to talk to him about mom and her death, he would take off his belt and leave me with scars and bruises all along my arms, waist and legs. everyday i would hurt, screaming in pain that i felt all over my body. It was'nt to long until the school asked about my abrasions and took me away from my abusive father. After that i was never the same, i went to live with his brother Joe and his wife (my aunt) Kathy, nice people but it still changed me emotionally. When i went to middle school i got my nose pierced, changed my look to complete blackness and started to cut...deep.

                                                                           * * *

I slowly felt tears fill in my eyes remembering those dark times. Water poring down my face, oh great i thought to myself just what i need, a crying start to my freshmen year. Damn, i cry to much. All was'nt that bad though, throughout the years i made some friends who i soon told my "life story" to and they excepted me for who i am and what I've been through. But their were only two people i trusted my life with and that would be Ive Miller and James Martin. Ive was the peace maker of the three of us, she enjoyed walks in the park, picnics and bright colors, her hair was a fierce orange with grassy green eyes. then their was the trouble maker James. Kicked out of four different schools, this blond hair drop dead gorges blue eyes was an absolute bad boy. He was you're average teenager but super sensitive and caring. His girlfriend Amy Wind moved to new york over summer break, me and her were best friends until she decided to date my guy best friend (GBF) who i kinda had a not so little crush on in like the seventh grade but he like loves her so i know for a fact its never happening but a girl can still wish, can't she?

hey guys! chapter 2 is on it's way, i promise! p.s. thats a pic of pheobie! p.s.s there will be pics of James, Ive and Amy!!!!! who do u want to see first? lol xD don't forget to vote and comment i love advice :D