Breaking Chains

Kiss it all Better

Samantha’s mother died in childbirth.

It was a taboo topic within her household and for the majority of the first five years of her life Samantha hadn’t know that she had ever had a mother. Her young mind never dwelled much on the subject of mothers before. Samantha knew that a mother was married to the father and they took care of the children but not in the way that servants did; they were like special attendees. Mothers were things that other children her age had that she didn’t, the same was that one child might have a toy she didn’t have or another girl might posses ribbons she was void off. Samantha always assumed mothers were optional things and her father had simply made the decision to not marry, naturally, she was wrong.

On the fifth of March, her birthday, Samantha discovered that she had a mother and that she had killed her. Had she been older, Samantha would have been able to understand the impact of this discovery, but at five her concept of death and maternity was limited, because of this, the discovery of her mother’s death had a blunted impact. Therefore, this ranked as only the third largest shock of her life.

The second largest shock of her life was at twelve. The surprise was this: she was getting a new mother and brother in July. While the news had been initially upsetting, Samantha’s worries were soon put to bed upon meeting her new family members and finding them to be incredibly and unequivocally dull.

The seventh largest shock of her life was when her father arranged for her to meet up with a suitor at age fourteen. After a string of suitors, the forced encounters lost their surprise effect and became nothing short of tedious; that is what led to the tenth largest surprise. While the tenth unpredicted realization impacted her far more than premeditated outings, it had a very slow build up and therefore ranked rather low.

It was discovered that the suitors, while appealing enough and of well stature, had no appeal to her. Samantha had many suspicious as to why this was but it wasn’t until she actually paid attention to her priest spiteful preaching of hell that Samantha was able to confirm the true source:

Sodamy

Not quite sodamy, as that was between males, but a female variation of it. It wasn’t so much of a shock as it was a sickly feeling swirling and twisting in her abdomen. The urge to vomit lingered with her for days along with a plaguing inability to sleep and cold sweats. Not because of what she was but because of what would happen to her.

Social ostracization, religious damnation, and family dissociation.

They’d tear her jewels from her rings and neck and yank the pins from her hair before tossing her out in the streets. She’d descend into the deepest levels of poverty, begging or prostitution. Her family would be disgusted with her and claim she had died rather than admit association with her. Strangers would pass her shriveled, filthy form with disgust or indifference and when she finally died, her corpse would rot on the street for day before being tossed into a cart to be dispatched it.

Or

Her family would sent her to an institution to receive corrective treatment. In other words, the location she currently called her place of residence.

So in order avoid these terrible fates she kept her little secret locked away in silence. Samantha accepted the fact that one day she would be condemned to a marital agreement with a male and accepted that her life would be loveless. At least, she accepted it as much as a girl of sixteen years was emotionally capable off.

Of course, the largest shock of her entire young adult life was waking up in the basement of a mad man just a little bit before her seventeenth birthday. But nothing could ever top an event such as that one.