Behind Sanity

Chapter Sixty-Three

So this is how it feels, to breathe in the summer air; feel the sand between my toes and love inside my ear.

All those things that you taught me to fear: I’ve got them in my garden now and you’re not welcome here.

-Poe, singer/songwriter(Control)

                                 ______________________________________________

Behind Sanity

Chapter Sixty-Three

1

March 18th, 1868

Alice Liddell has made outstanding progress.  Since her admission here to Rutledge’s, she’s managed to conquer her illness completely, showing no more signs of catatonia or dementia.  It is my pleasure to be the one to release her from this place.  There are bigger and better things outside these walls – perhaps, for all of us.

                - Johnathan A. Robertson

These were the only words he wrote in the casebook, neglecting the truth of it all.  Besides, in all earnestness, what adult would actually believe?    

 

2

One week after she’d freed herself from Wonderland’s grasp, Alice left Rutledge’s.  She left with her niece, her sister, and her sister’s husband with her.  Her family.

She’d said goodbye to John on the steps outside.  She’d hugged him, kissed his cheek.  He’d smiled at her, and then he’d watched her go.  Elisa waved after them.  She touched John’s hand. 

Morgan skipped on ahead.  Wendy smiled and locked arms with Tommy.  Alice heard the clicking of her shoes echoing off the building that was falling further behind her.

She was walking away from many things here – many people she cared about, but she would not go far.  And she would come back, never desert them.  Eventually they would be well – she trusted John with that – and like she’d always dreamed, she’d meet them walking down the street and as they worked.  She would wave to them.  She would visit their homes, see their new families.  These were happy thoughts.  She knew they would happen. 

Spring was finally blowing in, and Alice stopped at the end of the path.  She stood beneath the tall, iron gate that said RUTLEDGE’S across the arced top and she closed her eyes.  She breathed deeply and let the wind toss her hair.  How long had it been since she’d been outside?  But it didn’t matter, because days were going to be like this from now on.

The sun was warm against her pale skin and she thought of her child-life, and the happy summer days…    

3

“But what happened after that?”

Alice opened her eyes at the sound of the girl’s voice.  The breeze blew gently at her as if nudging her awake, the rustling of the leaves above whispering to wake up, darling, this is your life.  She smiled laughingly at herself.  She was a grown woman of eighteen and here she couldn’t even stay awake while reading a book aloud, let alone listening to one.  Not much had changed since she’d been Morgan’s age.

Her hair was put up carefully, her green hat lying at her side.  She leaned back against the tree bark anyway.   

Morgan sat on the blanket in front of her, in a yellow dress, her golden locks shining in the sunlight.  She’d been weaving a daisy chain and Dinah hopped around playfully – happy for the summer and now quite grown – chasing a blue and black butterfly.  The girl now looked at her aunt with interest, her head on her hands, wanting to know the end of the story after the long pause.