Behind Sanity

Chapter Twelve

                                                                        Behind Sanity 

                                                                      Chapter Twelve

                                                                                   1 

                Alice ran her hand softly across the warm forehead of her niece.  Morgan had been sleeping deeply for two days.  She lay in the hospital bed, her small chest rising and falling slowly, her breath exiting through her tiny nose.  Alice listened to her calm breath, which seemed so peaceful, but somehow she knew there was no peace inside the child. 

                Alice had snuck out of her hospital room after Robertson had left her for the day, and into this one when the nurse wasn’t watching.  She wanted to be alone with Morgan away from the nurse’s watchful eye, guessing no one would allow this if they knew.  Now, as she looked over her niece, she was consumed with worry. 

                She remembered what the White Rabbit had told her: there was no time.  She remembered even more what the cat had said: she would lose something important – her soul?  What did it mean?  Did soul stand for something else?  She remembered that the cat had always twisted his words just enough to confuse her.  Did soul mean Morgan?  Something she cared about so deeply that was nearly like the core of her?  Alice hardly thought of her that way, but who really knew?

                 She remembered what John had said also.  She laughed to herself at this thought.  It was funny how she thought of him by this name.  Her doctors had never had first names before.  Mostly, they had never had any name except “doctor” or whatever else she’d preferred to call them.  Actually, Elliot had been the only one to have a real name, but she couldn't say she’d ever said his first name.  It was strange how she had actually become somewhat fond of John – at least as far as tolerating him – even after she was determined to hate him.  Still, she couldn't let him in, no matter how much she longed to tell someone.  He was trying to help her, but she couldn't discuss it.  He seemed to be the only doctor who thought she wasn't fully mad.  He was the only person aside from Wendy.  She couldn't bear to lose that trust and faith, though she was beginning to accept her insanity as the evidence became clearer.

                 But what was the connection in all that they had been telling her?  The way John had talked about Morgan and Alice going through the same thing when they had both fainted scared Alice deeply.  Time was running short to save her soul?   Perhaps.  The last thing she wanted to think about was Morgan being stuck in that awfully twisted place she had just come back from.  She still felt that invisible blood was making her hands unclean.  She had yet to figure out what was going on there, but she vowed she would.  If Morgan was lost there, it was her responsibility to get her out.

                 Her dreams often speculated on what was going on in Wonderland, but nothing seemed logical.  She could not come up with the reason why she was specifically placed at the Duchess's doorstep just to kill her.  What had the odd woman done?  And why had Alice been chosen?  She wished deeply to address the cat and the rabbit in all seriousness about the matter, but if they hadn't told her already, would they?  All they gave were little pieces of clues that led to nothing as far as she could see.  Perhaps she wasn't thinking hard enough – or perhaps she was thinking too hard.