To The Apologetic

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I reckon there's a language we all speak. We might've bumped in to each other in the past. Hell, we might've even exchanged a few words. But still, we unknowingly roamed the earth together at once.

So I wonder if there's a possibility, we were all supposed to help each other from our individual hells. It might've been more comforting to have someone burning with you. Maybe we all could've learned how to avoid it.

I've read your letters. All of you.

I saw that a lot of you had been fighting for a very long time. 25+ years plus and I salute you even then. How did you manage to last so long?

I wish I knew your secret.

I've read about how a lot of you felt like you weren't made to be here and I think so to.

My whole birth was a battle. My mom was in labor for HOURS. And I was not coming out that womb. They had to force me out with forceps. Even then, I wept and wept.

I think I knew the whole time and that's why my life's been the way it was so I guess I'm writing this because....did you know?

That this was your fate. That this is how you were going to end?
I guess that's stupid because I didn't know when I was a kid either. Until I get around 12 and I started wondering if I should even be alive. But even back then, I didn't know the depth that questions held, nor do I think I knew exactly what I had meant at the time and looking back....

Who deserves to endure such torture?

No one.

So I don't blame any of you. Nor am I angry. Nor do I point my fingers.

I get it. Completely.

I'm just wondering if wherever people like us go....will you meet me there? At the gate? The door? The veil.

If there is a God, then please stand next to him with open arms.

Please hug away my earthly trials and say that you understand and you remember them too. And tell me that there's a space up there, that's just for us.
Where people get people like us....

And please tell me you'll befriend me. Will you please be nice? Will you not hurt me? Will you not hate me? Will you not hit me? And not abuse me. And not take me for granted.

Please tell me you'll hear my voice. Please tell me, you'll understand me and I'll understand you.

Please tell me you won't leave. Please tell me after all this time...I won't be alone.

My hands are stretched out just waiting. So please do the same.
I'm about to knock on the door.

Please answer.

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