Take Me Home (Revised)

Chapter Nine: Breilah

"So that was fun." Ely said, opening the door to his house for me. We hadn't said a word to each other since the kiss at the party. I couldn't get my mind off of it. It's all that could sustain its place in my brain at the moment because I was so tired. I could barely keep my eyes open, let alone think about anything (but the kiss) or even walk. I did my best to sort my thoughts. Ely kissed me. I kissed Ely. Ely kissed my lips. My lips kissed Ely. We were at Mike's. I kissed at Mike's. Muddy kissed Ely at me...I gave up on that after that last attempt.

"Yeah, whatever. Good night." I muttered, laying down at the bottom of the stairs, surrendering to the sleep I was losing the battle to.

"Brei, what are you doing? Come on upstairs. There's a bed up there." he argued.

"Here's fine." I sighed, closing my eyes and seeing nothing but Ely's face after I broke the kiss. How surprised and taken aback he was. Why would he have wanted to kiss me in the first place? I'm not good enough for a kiss. I wanted to be good enough for a kiss, believe me. Obviously not a kiss from Ely, but from my fantasy future boyfriend. To be good enough would fix all my problems with guys and Molly and even school. If I felt better about myself, if I were good enough, I bet I'd even do better in school. It's a scientific fact. I can't count how many cheerleader bitches are on the honor roll each quarter. And maybe someday I would be good enough to be up there with them, but as for right then, I was repulsive. Especially in that stupid dress. So why Ely of all people, anyone really, would want to kiss me was beyond me.

"Alright, I didn't want to have to do this, but you give me no choice." Ely's voice grew louder for some reason. I tried to brush it off and sleep off the confusion that flooded my mind, until I felt arms wrap under me and scoop me up off of the ground. What was he doing?!? My eyes shot open as I wrapped myself tightly around him.

"Oh my God! Do not drop me! Do not let me fall!" I panicked. I was awake(ish) now. At least more so than before. I guess I kind of had this thing with heights. Falling down the stairs and off playgrounds as a kid didn't exactly build my confidence in high places. I've fallen so many times, and I'm pretty sure Mom dropped me on my head a few times, that I couldn't even go upstairs without caution. I even hated people picking me up to give me a piggy back ride or something like that. I just never could deal with anything that could result in my falling. Which was only one of the reasons I avoided most guys.

"Shhh, you can trust me." Ely whispered in my ear, beginning the trek up the stairs. The scariest part was that I actually let him. He held me tightly to him with an arm in the crook of my knees and the other around my middle. I liked being held tightly like that, but probably not near as tightly as I held him. I was surprised he could breathe. I clung to him harder and cringed my eyes tightly closed the entire time up to his room. He laid me down on the bed and lay down next to me, brushing my hair behind my ear. I still couldn't stop thinking about the kiss. It came out of nowhere and that was not even the weirdest thing, that was the fact that I actually liked it. I actually liked kissing my best friend. But why? I had so many questions I needed to know the answers to. Like why did he do it? What even possessed him to do it? Did he want to do it? What the fuck does it mean?

"Now you can go to sleep." he said, pulling the blanket up over us. He wasn't himself tonight. Maybe there was something in those cracker 'sammiches' that made him all weird. He wasn't being my best friend. He was acting like I was his to take care of or something. And that certainly was not true. I could care for myself fine.

"Can I take this damn thing off now?" I griped. I hated that dress. It was uncomfortable and scratchy. Just like how Ely was acting. I felt naked without my sweats down below. The dress didn't make me feel comfortable. It was weird. Kind of like that kiss. It was so bizarre. I always dreamt of spending my life with the man who gave me my first kiss. But, I didn't like Ely in that way. Ely was my best friend, not my boyfriend, despite the crap I'll be getting from Molly in detention once winter break ends. Chances are Mike just slipped something into his drink or 'sammich' to make him act all weird and kiss me out of the blue. I knew Ely better than that. He wouldn't want to risk what we have. He wouldn't even like me like that anyway. Why would he? We've known one another since I was five and he was seven. We've taken tomato juice-vinegar baths together after getting sprayed by a skunk one summer. We made mud pies together and served them on catapults made out of rubber bands and styrofoam bowls. Ely was just not someone I'd date.