It's For Me to Know, and You to Find Out

Chapter 4

"Okay, I am going to open the door and walk out. Guess I'll say some crazy speech or something," I wring my hands while I stare at the door in front of me. I was starting to chicken out and I really did NOT want to do that.

"It's okay, just open the door. They'll love you! You'll know their thoughts, be able to help them. You know, the typical leader stuff, just better," Joseph puts his hand on the small of my back and pushes me forward a bit.

"Okay, but if I faint, it's all your fault," I give him a playful glare and turn back to face the door. Taking a big, refreshing breath, I put my hand on the knob.

"Come on, just turn it," Joseph whispers in my ear. It tickles and I can't help but to laugh and ease the moment.

"Alright, alright. Here we go," I turn the knob in my hand; it revolves slowly and easily. I creak it open and almost chicken out again, but Joseph's reassuring hand on my back calms me again and I continue to open the door.

As the door opens, I peep around it and am astonished to see lots and lots of vampires sitting in my yard. I guess I should have guessed before how many were there by the voices in my head, but at the time, I was to busy freaking out to care.

I swivel my head in astonishment and see Joseph grinning from ear to ear like a child showing his parent a gift that he bought her. Seeing him smile, I smile. Was his good nature rubbing off on me? Gosh, I hope not. I was used to my old nature and I don't want a new one.

As I grinned back at Joseph, I start to hear thoughts in my head again, but much less loudly. Guess I was going to have to get used to this too.

"Hi!" I say as excited as I can get my voice when I am REALLY not excited.

I swear, if there were crickets out, I would have heard them. Everything got quiet fast and all eyes turned to look at me. Nobody moved or even breathed. Which, I guess makes sense since we're all technically dead. Nope, not going to think of that.

"So, my name is Madeline. I guess I'm your leader now. I'm not sure how to do this," I slap myself on the forehead at my stupidity. You're not supposed to show weakness to a vampire clan! What was my problem?

Right, okay. That was the old rules. But I guess when your a leader person, you're supposed to be an awesome hider of emotions. So, yes, I guess the old rules still applied.

"Um," I look for words as everyone keeps staring at me. I start to fidgit again and look for Joseph for help.

"Here," he mutters in my ear and looks at the vampire clan. "Madeline is still getting used to this life at the moment. She chose to face you guys today to let you know she is here and ready to help as soon as she is ready. We should be proud of her today, changing so quickly for her new life. Also, our proudness is to be for the fact that we are offically a complete and whole clan once more. There is no use of looking for another leader, because we have one here before us now!"

As Joseph finishes, ther is awed looks in everyone's faces. I stare back, waiting for a reaction. They had to say something!

Just as I start to feel very worried and scared that they would hate me, someone starts to clap. Quickly, more and more vampires join in until everyone is clapping or yelling. Cheers go up and I feel heat in my face.

"Thanks," I mutter out to them, even though I just know they will not hear me. But instead of my expectation, everyone quiets and murmmers back, "You are most certainly welcome," like it was something they had rehearsed for many days.

"Oh," I feel my lips widen in a wide O of surprise and gape at them. How in the world did they hear that? Yes, we may have some inhanced things about us, but it's not THAT good.

I feel Joseph tug on my arm and I follow him back into the house.

"How, how in the world did they hear me?" I cry out at him as soon as we were sitting on the couch.

"Well, when you have those awesomely cool special powers, every time you speak to your clan, your voice automatically magnifies into their heads so that they can hear every word."

"How is is that possible?" I shake my head, "Never mind, don't answer that. You know, the years that I have been a vampire hunter, I have never ever heard something like this.

"We keep most of our secrets secret.  We wouldn't want our killers to come out and find things out about us that we would rather them not now.  This, for example." he gestures his hands toward me and I feel so weak and so strong at the same time, I don't know how to handle myself.

I take a deep breath and get back to buisiness.  If I am going to be a clan leader, I might as well start right now, at the moment.

"So, tell me.  What do I do?"

For the next couple of hours, Joseph goes on and tells me everything I need to know.  How to deal with people who dislike me, which is highly unpossible.  How keep hold myself when giving a speech, what to wear, all kinds of things that I really wished I didn't have to worry about.

Everything that I needed to know swam through my head and I feel back onto the couch.  I rubbed my eyes in circles and stared at the ceiling, waiting for the black dots to come out of my vision.  I felt Joseph sit beside me and start to massage my shoulders.

I sat up quickly, startled by a thought I just had.

"Wait a second," I take a pause, thinking of how to frame the question.  "So, if my clan can hear my thoughts and know things about me, can I even block them out at all?  Like, if I'm talking to somebody and I don't want them to know, can I hide my thoughts?"

I watched Joseph mull things over in his head and shake his head.  It seemed like he was flipping through a book in his head, looking for the answers and not finding the answer.  Finally, he nods, just like he's satisfied.

"And?" I look at him expectantly.

"Listen closely before I forget everything I say.  Here we go," he massages his hands and clumps them into a fist and puts them in his lap.  He closes his eyes and I marvel at his beauty until he begins to speak.

"The only way you may seek the way to block out a leaders thoughts is to find the hope inside oneself.  If you find this and take hold of it firmly, you may begin to seek your desire to hide and block many things, of these things, the blockage of thought.  Hope is a strong piece of mind and soul, and should be handled carefully.  Hope is withing all living creatures, wether they are of night or day.  Most vampires have a hard time finding the hope inside themselves because of fear and power.  Only hope can help you with your desires. Do not misuse hope, or there may be serious consequences."

Joseph's words hung in the air as he stopped his reading of the textbook inside of his head.

"Wow," was all I could mutter as the words hovered in the air.

"Does it make sense now?" Josephs voice startled me, and I realized that while he was speaking, he had a monotone voice.

"Not at all," I shake my head quickly.  "Honestly, what does the 'find hope inside of you' even supposed to mean?  It made hope sound like an object, but something you feel at the same time.  It just made everything even more confusing!" I groan in frustration and put my face in my hands.

"We'll figure it out.  Just calm down and breathe.  Right now, we'll go hunting.  You'll have fun learning that!" Joseph nodded in approval to his own suggestion and bounded towards the front door.

I stayed seated and he looked back, a look of dismay on his face.

"Coming?" he called to me, hope in his voice.  There it is again.  That word.  Hope.  Just what am I going to do with it.

Taking a chance, I sided with hope and let him feel happiness.  "Sure, lets go."

I hopped up and followed him out the door, everything I learned hovering over me like a black cloud.