When I was in my writing program, one of my professors told me that what she liked so much about me was how well I take critiques of my work. For those of you thinking of pursuing a degree in writing, know that you will be critiqued in front of a group of your peers and individually by your professor (at least at one of the schools I attended). Whether or not you go on to pursue a degree, by putting your work out there for people to read, you are going to face critics. Some are going to be constructive and some can be destructive if you allow them. Here is how I've learned to take critiques and keep my sanity:
1. Know the difference between CONSTRUCTIVE and DESTRUCTIVE criticism. My mom used to (still does) tell me to "consider the source." Is the criticism meant to help you improve your writing/story? Is the criticism coming from someone who knows what they are doing/with experience? Is the criticism coming from someone who loves you or out of a heart of love? If the answer is "yes," you are dealing with constructive criticism. If you answer "no" to all three, disregard what is being said. The fact is there are people out there who say mean things just because they can. If you give too much weight to their words, they'll destroy your writing. Give more weight to words that are meant to help you improve (and we can all improve).
2. Sit there and shut up. One great thing I learned from a writer's critique group, Word Weavers, is that when receiving a critique don't interrupt. Keep your mouth shut. Listen. Hear where your reader is coming from. How are they interpreting the scene you painted? Take notes. And take everything with a grain of salt. Unless the critiquer knows the whole story, they are only giving you what they know based on the portion they have read. And DO NOT fall into the temptation of having to "explain away" every critique. Just take it. Use what you need, and disregard what you don't. You are the writer. You know the story. You probably already have uneasy feelings about parts you are not sure work/don't work. It is your jobs to sift through the critiques you are given and pick out what you can use to improve your writing/story.
3. Treat others the way you want to be treated. This is a good rule for every area of life. When you critique, I highly recommend critiquing others with the honesty and respect you would like to receive. And THIS DOES NOT MEAN that if someone gives you a negative comment you are free to rain down an abusive critique on them. The best way to get even is to ignore the bullies and become a better writer. One method of critiquing that may help is called the sandwich method. Basically you put your respectful and honest critique in between two compliments. If you can't find two things you truthfully like about the story/writing/characters/world, then do not critique it. Critique only the story's you believe in. The ones you want to support and help get better. So: Compliment --> Critique --> Compliment. This method is a tried and true way to be respectful of others' work and gain respect for your work and your critique. Always be honest, always be respectful, and always treat others the way you want to be treated—even when you are not treated that way.
Happy writing & many blessings,
Nicole L Rivera
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