The unexpected illness.

April ;- "Smiling but close to tears"

3rd of April 

STRESSED.

I can honestly not cope anymore. I have revision coming out of my ears and exam after exam following behind it. I have no time to socialize anymore. No time to eat. No time for anything or anyone. I would rather be outside messing about but no I am stuck in my bedroom surrounded with bits of pointless paper, notes and books. When did my life become so bloody boring? I used to be out twenty four seven not having a care in the god damn world. Time for some serious work I think. 

24th of April 

I have officially started to diet. Yes, Me, I am dieting. Made my mum take me to a supermarket and buy lots of things I would class as "healthy". Today I found out more of the word Calories? These are place alot at the back of packaging and you're only meant to be taking about 2000 a day. I must have been on about 5000+? Jesus Christ. That has really opened my eyes to how greedy and big I have gotten. I did a little research on good old Google to find out all of the top dieting tips. So my dear loved ones would you like to know what I have found out, well I should only eat 1000 calories a day with as less fat intake as possible. So today I had bran-flakes with banana for breakfast, this is honestly a heavenly made breakfast! For lunch I had a fruit salad which consisted of all the summery delicious fruits you can think of. And for tea I had the easy option of toast covered in beans. With lots of tasty butter of course! it all tasted beautiful. Who knew eating healthy could be this easy. Not only am I dieting but one of my friends and I have decided to take on running as a form of exercise to loose weight. So today we met up in her local park and did some laps. It was actually quite refreshing and stress free. The breeze swirled my hair into my face but that didn't stop me from continuing my run. Today has been fantastic to be honest, mum and I spent the whole night watching movies and chatting about life it's the first night we have had alone together in ages to be honest. I like it. I miss her being at home as much as she use to be.

25th of April 

I have literally been living off fruit, salad and beans on toast. These are the only things I would class as healthy to be honest, everything else is honestly covered in fat. I have to make sure it's light choices beans or weight watchers beans because normal Heinz beans is full of salt, fat and sugar. On and even better note I have lost 8 pounds in just over two weeks, quick right? so I am now 9 stone 8! You should have seen my face when I stepped on the scales it shone brighter then a newly made rainbow. Not long and I will be 9 stone I can do this, I can do this, I can do this. I have to just continue to run, take part in zumba, dance and swimming. I make sure I exercise every day because it's the only way too loose weight and diet of course. I think I might be annoying my family a bit lately because all I can talk and think about is dieting and losing weight. But don't they understand I just want to be healthy and fit? You can't say no to me wanting something like that. Have I ever told you how much I enjoy running it literally is the best feeling in the world. It relieves me of all stress and worry. If I don't run on a certain day I get really angry at myself because in my opinion that's lazy and I am just going to gain weight and be fat for the rest of my life.