The single ray of light that crept into my bedroom highlighted my greasy hair, whipped at the ends and sprawled out over my pillow, as I stared up at the ceiling of my room, my Misfits poster lingered over my bed. I squinted; I hated the sunlight, and sat up on my bed. I stretched over to the old desk that sat beside my bed. 19th June. 7 Am. I had to get ready for school, my new school. It was nearly the end of the year and I was starting a new school. I don't see why my mom insisted on this move I probably wouldn't even go to school half this semester anyway. One of those typical outcast faggot students you could say. Mostly bullies, I was Gerard Way aka "gay way" or "buttsex boy" I suppose I got used to the constant name calling but sometimes I really had no energy to deal with the pricks and ended up in fights every other week, also getting shoved into my locker every single day. It was exhausting but I only had a year to go and I was free. Free to study art away from everything.
The only interesting things about me being: I drew a lot, I drank a lot of coffee, I read and wrote a lot, I probably listened to more music than your mom or dad’s old collection, I thought a lot and I smoked. I knew the smoking thing was a one way ticket to lung cancer but nicotine was my only escape from everything.
Back to the topic of moving. I didn't see how it would change the ways kids acted towards different people like me. You see I'm not the best at talking to people, maybe it was just I was too scared to talk to people because they way so many had treated me. It just made my mind enclose itself into my own shell. I never let anyone in, and I never put myself out. I couldn't have friends. My mind wouldn't let me. Or couldn’t understand the concept of myself being in a situation like that I guess.
I walked to the bathroom, feeling half-conscious from the 4 hours of sleep I hardly got, locking the door when I got in and ran the taps. Scolding hot water burned my face creating red blotches on my chalked colour cheeks when I looked in the mirror. I studied my face for what seemed a long time, my face was repulsive and so was my whole appearance. I had thick black greasy hair that could easily be mistaken as a bird nest and didn't compliment my face shape at all. My eyes were a boring shade of hazel but they were alright, it was the lines and dark circles that took over from sleepless nights and constant crying that drained the beauty away from them. My mom used to tell me they held a lot of emotion and I was easy to read. Pity really. I looked down at myself to only see my shapeless body again. I wasn't lanky or tall, I was sort of chubby to be honest. I constantly told myself this for years. Tracing the skin along my stomach and thighs were marks from where a lot of weight had been gained and then lost, years or torment and starvation was all my body showed.
Now I was in a bad mood and deeply regretting going to school. I got up pulled on some signature skinny jeans and an old faded band t-shirt, gathered a small pile of comic books from the floor and a pack of cigarettes, checking the contents of my bag I saw the cigarette box, Crap, I only had half a packet to last me the week. I trudged downstairs to the lounge, my mom was sat on the couch a cup of coffee in her hand she smiled at me as I grabbed a fistful of money and my keys from the coffee table.
"Good luck sweetie you'll do great!" my mom gave me a look which I looked straight through, she knew what I was about to face, hell itself loomed about 8 blocks away. I walked through the door and called as I walked out,
"Thanks mom I'm sure I will" that was a lie.
The sun was shining and the air was warm, I felt like a melting puddle of tarmac already, stupid sun. I strode all the way to school my iPod raging melodies of Morrissey through my eardrums; it got me pumped for the first day of eternal miserableness. The streets round jersey were really glum. Even in the warmest and brightest of summers the streets and the houses had a downbeat feeling to them. The people were hardly seen during the day, occasionally you would see a group of kids skipping school and smoking some illegal substance at a rusty park talking about some chick they fucked last weekend. Of course I only knew this because I moved to jersey two weeks ago and I spent the first people watching. I love watching life and taking in the emotions of others, even if its only for a few seconds. I was pretty good at it now and could tell what people round here act. When I arrived at my new school I received the same off-putting vibes as the whole place gave me.
