Married to Lust.

Five.

When Monday finally rolled around, I found myself laying in bed as I listening to the blaring alarm ringing in my ears. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and finally convinced myself to get up and get ready for work.

I was sure I could probably get an extended bereavement leave, but what good would it do? Eventually, I had to return to work. It's not that I didn't love my job, I did. I was one of the assistant nurses at a local private practice. It was a nice 9 to 5 job with semi-decent benefits.

It's just that the staff and I were particularly close and I didn't want to be bombarded with people just trying to be nice and sincere apologies for my loss.

I pressed my forehead against the cool tiles of my shower, closing my eyes, and trying to ready myself for the day as the hot water poured over my skin. A fluttering of the shower curtain and strong arms coming around my waist were comforting as I leaned back against Alex's bare chest.

He'd been here since Friday and I hadn't had the heart to ask him to leave, for his own sake. Yesterday he'd even cooked us breakfast for God's sake.

" I have to get ready to work, " I murmured as I felt him press his lips to my temple. His hands tightened on my hips and I could feel him pressing up against my back. He made it easy to forget the troubles that I was facing in my day to day life, but they were still ever present.

He turned me around to face him, hands moving to my shoulders, and green eyes peering in to mine. " You'll be okay today."

I could only nod as his thumb ran along my jaw, then my cheek, slowly tracing the outline of my lips. I was wondering when I was going to wake up from this wonderful and terrible dream back in to my old life.

He kissed me then, his body pressing me between him and the tiled wall of the shower, hands cupping my face gently. His lustful kisses slowly turned in to sweet whisperings that trailed down my neck and across my collarbones. It was at this moment that I was thinking of bargaining with the devil if I could just stay in this moment forever.

His fingers followed water drops down my chest, across my stomach, and stopped just short of the daisy tattoo on the small curve of my hip. He smiled softly, eyes finding mine again.

" Never thought of you as someone who'd have a tattoo." He admitted, taking a step back to observe it better.

" I was a little bit of a teenage rebel." I replied, wiping the water from my face and reaching out to pull him closer again. My body needed him to be closer. His eyes raked up and down my body and with a sexy growl he grabbed me by the waist and pressed me up against the wall, need surging through his body and in to mine.

Maybe it won't hurt to be a little late for work, I thought to myself and honestly, work was far from my mind when he pinned me up against the wall and my legs went around his waist automatically. This was far from the sweet love- making we made first, this was more hungry and frantic as he filled me up.

His mouth claimed mine as he rocked against me, short and stifled moans escaping from between our lips. I was melting in his arms as the steam threatened to swallow me whole, if Alex didn't first.

After we were finished as he was still holding my tight to his body, my legs locked around his waist and body still quivering under his touch, he set me down and my feet finally found solid ground to stand on.

He turned the water off and I followed him out of the shower, still panting and trying to get my bearings. He wrapped me up in one of my big fluffy towels and planted a kiss on my cheek.

" Okay, now you have to get ready for work. " He said with a mischievous grin on his beautiful face as I dried off. I had to laugh and only nodded back. I hurried through my morning routine and got dressed in my plain blue scrubs.

My hair was still wet when I made in to work with a few minutes to spare. I placed my jacket and bag in my small locker and met up with the receptionist at the front desk. Her name was Lily and she was a pretty brunette who'd been hired the same time I was, though all she did was scheduling and answer and return phone calls.

" Hey, Elizabeth. " She greeted me cautiously as I flipped through sheets of patient information, trying to catch up on my missed work.

" Good morning, Lily." I replied, my eyes still going over today's appointments and what they were scheduled to be seen for. The silence was heavy.

" How are you holding up?" She asked and I finally met her gaze, surrendering myself to her sympathetic look.

" Surprisingly okay." I shrugged, trying to sound flat, but my voice came out shaky anyway. She studied me with her brown eyes, scrutinizing every emotion that flickered across my face that I tried to hide.

" Mrs. Offerman is in for labs this morning, " she told me, her shoulders finally relaxing and I sighed in relief.

" Okay, I'll grab her from the lobby and get started." I said, putting the folder down and gladly leaving the tiny space behind her desk. I grabbed the elderly lady from the waiting room and led her back to the lab for a full work up. As she chattered on about her grandchildren, my mind wandered to Alex.

What was an acceptable time to tell people about him? Would there ever be a right time to announce that I was sleeping with my husband's best friend and partner? Was this even going to last or would it evaporate once my strange grieving period ended? I didn't know and I didn't want to think much about it, because it was one of the first times in a long time that I felt comfortable in my own home, in someone else's arms. Maybe it's just in bad taste that it's Alex. No matter what conclusion I bring myself to, I can't shake the feeling of his hands wandering up my body or the way his eyes look at me.

This was going to be more difficult that I imagined.