Immortal Mistakes

never grow old

June 2, 2014

To my darling Chloe,

I don't really know where to start except to say that I love you. I love you so very much, my baby. I loved you before you were even born, while you were still in my belly. That's why, when they came to me and they offered to make you immortal, I said yes. The chance for you to live forever, to be always young and healthy - that was such a wonderful gift, I had to give it to you. I didn't realise then, my Chloe, that they would take you away from me. That I would get to hold you only once, to kiss your beautiful face and look into your eyes only once. And then, they would whisk you away. For your own protection, they said. As soon as the mortals (that meant us - me, your dad, your sister and your brother, our friends, our neighbours) found out about you, they would want to hurt you, maybe even kill you. Out of jealousy I suppose. I really can't see that happening. Anyway it would be at least 30 years before anyone would realise that you were different. That's what they told me, that you would stop ageing when you hit 30. It sounds wonderful. I am 35 now and already have a couple more wrinkles than I would like.

You'll never grow old and develop diseases like we will. Your heart will never fail, your mind will never grow fuzzy and blank, your body will never be overtaken by cancerous growths. I have to keep telling myself that it's worth it. The pain of not having you here is payment for you to be able to live comfortable and healthy for as long as you like.

You've only just gone, and I already miss you so much. It feels like they have ripped away a part of me. I feel empty and alone. Part of me is worried I made a mistake. Maybe I shouldn't tell you about my inner fears, but I want you to know that truth. I worry about what sort of childhood you will have without your mother. Where will they keep you? Will they feed you enough? Will you be warm enough? They won't tell me anything. They just keep waving the contract I signed in my face. You can write her a letter, they said, one a year and we will deliver it to her. Will they? Will you ever read this? I hope so, my baby. You need to know how much your mama loves you. How much I miss you. I'm sorry baby girl, I hope immortality is worth it.

With all my love,

Mama

Thanks as always for reading. If you are enjoying this story, please vote or tell me what you like or don't like. You can read more of Chloe's letters from her family in the book 'Never Grow Old'.