The Rockstar & I

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Matt and I sat and chatted a little more about the band, their style, influences and previous experience. It was good to get more of an understanding of the band that I was going to be working with.

Matt seemed incredibly smart, with his head screwed on. He was so grounded and humble. He didn’t like to take compliments himself; often praising others when it was clear that without him the band wouldn’t be in this position.

I learnt a lot about him as well. How his favourite band were Metallica, just like me, and how he was a New York native and loved the city, again just like me. The more we spoke the more I discovered we had in common. If I hadn’t left New York he would probably have been one of the guys I had hung out with alongside Brad.

Talking of Brad, as Matt and I were talking he walked in looking a bit worse for wear. He was wearing shades and looked like he would fall over any second from all the wobbling he was doing. He lifted his shades slowly to look at us both and I could see how red and blotchy his eyes were. Typical hangover symptoms.

“Hey Chelsea really sorry I'm late, we got a bit carried away celebrating” he explained and had the decency to look guilty as he sat down with us.

“No problem, it was a stupid idea to get you all in first thing after being signed.” I responded, I was trying so hard not to look at him. I didn’t know how this was going to be with Brad. Either he could return to being my best friend or there could be some shift in the dynamic now that his bands future lay within my hands.

“I’m going to give you guys a few minutes to catch up” said Matt in a tactful manner. He slipped quietly out of the room leaving me and Brad sat opposite each other not really knowing what to say. I decided to start things off.

“I’m really pleased the band is doing so well.” I told him truthfully “if anyone deserves to be happy and successful it’s you. All that crap we put up with at school, we didn’t deserve it, so I'm pleased things are going well.”

“I’ve missed you” he replied. That was all he said. I thought he may have had a go at me for losing contact or at least been worried like Matt was about the future of the band with me and Rob having to work so closely.

“I missed you too Brad”.

“Why didn’t you say goodbye? I mean I know things got a bit messy with Rob but if you had just stayed long enough to listen things wouldn’t have been like this now. All this tension is so unhealthy.”

“Listen? Listen to what exactly Brad? The pitiful excuses Rob was so likely to spin me? What was I meant to listen to that would have made what he did any easier? Besides, my parents chose to move and that didn’t come as a shock, it was planned for months, he could have waited until I had left before he slept with that girl.”

“He didn’t sleep with her.”

“What? That’s bull and you know it. I saw them”

“What did you see exactly?”

“Him in bed with her”

“Actually having sex? Totally naked? Kissing?”

“No, they were asleep, she was asleep on his chest” the tears were threatening to come now. Of all the things I thought that we would talk about I never expected Brad to spring this on me. How could he defend his brother after what he did? To suggest that he hadn’t cheated and that it was a figment of my imagination was ridiculous.

“You didn’t bother to ask him what he was doing, you just cut him off and shut him out and left town. You switched your number and never gave us your address and he only found out what you were accusing him of when I told him myself. I nearly hit my own brother for hurting my best friend but he hadn’t done anything wrong.”

“I saw them Brad. I saw how they were asleep with each other. It’s how you fall asleep with your girlfriend. How had he not cheated?” the tears had finally made their bid for freedom as they raced down my cheeks.

“He was drunk. He passed out. He woke up with some random girl in bed with him. He was fully clothed minus his shirt. Nothing happened.”

“So convenient that happened right after he yelled at me and called me frigid because I wouldn’t have sex with him.”

It was Brad’s turned to be shocked then. He stared at me openly for a few moments before he started to shake his head slowly.

“Rob can be a jerk sometimes Chelsea but he would never call you frigid. He loved you so much.”

“Well he did call me frigid and when I refused to sleep with him he went and got drunk and ended up in the same bed with another girl. So whether or not they had sex is slightly irrelevant when you put it into that context.”

“You were both far too immature to have a relationship then and it’s clear that you at least haven’t grown up. You should have stayed and talked to him. Running away did nothing to heal you or him. He hurt for months after you had gone.”

We both sat there staring at each other for a minute or two, neither of us knowing what else to say. I was crying quite freely by now the tears racking my body as I tried to control the sobs. Brad looked conflicted between being angry with me and wanting to give me a hug.

“This was such a mistake Brad. I will tell my dad to get someone else to make this record, I can’t do it. Not with Rob and obviously not with you.”

I stood up and left the room pretty quickly with Brad calling after me as I made my escape. I ran all the way down the halls of the studio until I got to the parking lot where my beloved bike was stood. I ran straight past Matt who was having a cigarette and bumped into him as I made for cherrybomb.

“Chelsea! Hey wait a sec” Matt shouted after me and followed me to the bike where I was struggling to untie the helmet from the back.

“What’s happened? What did Brad say?” he looked at me worriedly whilst I continued to cry.

“Nothing, can’t talk about it. I just need to go and get out of here” I was borderline hysterical by now. Four years of bottling up all of the feelings I had held since I saw my only love in bed with a complete skank had finally caught up with me. Sarah and Brad were right; I had never dealt with my feelings and my hurt and as such the slightest reminder of it, which was rare, was enough to bring me crashing down.

“I’m not letting you get on that bike in this kind of state.” He looked at me levelly, staring into my eyes that were red and itchy from crying. He took the keys from my hands and straddled the bike looking back to me and indicating that I should get on. Nobody ever rode cherrybomb but me. I looked at him for a few moments longer before jumping on the back and wrapping my arms round him. I felt safer instantly.

“Have you ever ridden a bike before?” I asked him a little nervously.

“Yeah, I have  few back home. Now where exactly are we going to go and cheer you up?”

“I’ll direct you just head to the beach”

He started the ignition and we were off. He wasn’t lying, he could handle a bike and pretty well at that. We drove towards the beach and as soon as I saw the sea I began to feel a lot calmer. I shouted directions to Matt as we zipped through the early morning traffic and I led him to my special place.