You

They never told me how deep pain really is.

Idk If I can do this much longer...

For all I've endured,

I see no way.

The faces of my peers,

The teachers,

Our families...

Strangers.

Their words,

The tone in their voices,

The look on their faces...

Foreign.

Stop, just stop crying!

I can't face your ill expressed sorrow,

Your sympathetic glances,

And your forced tears!

You don't know the pain I suffer!

My life has been changed

Forever.

Not for the better,

But for the good

This I know very clear.

A part of me has died,

Yet,

How am I still alive?

I breathe,

But have no breath.

I speak,

But in dry empty words.

I walk,

But feel no movement.

I am just simply

Existing.

Where do things go that are gone?

Where do souls go?

Where?

Dear God, what has happened?

Can you send him back to me?

Or at least, in my dreams?

I can barely stand myself.

Saying good bye to

you

Is the hardest thing

I've ever done.

Every thing.

Every time.

I can see you.

I wear that shirt you said you loved.

I wear that perfume you bought me on my birthday last year.

I eat that sweet candy you snuck in my stocking at Christmas.

I put the lipstick colour on, you know, the one you liked me to leave on your lips.

I wake up and check my phone, just hoping I'll get your, "Good morning baby," and your "I love you," too.

This I do...every day.

Every little thing....

I see him.

I do.

I hear his voice,

His laugh,

His soft whisper in my ear.

I feel his hands in mine,

His arm around me,

And just his sweet touch.

His sweatshirt still has the smell of cologne and has a strand of his hair.

You left your iPod here again and your hat.

Your smell still lingers on that spot on the couch where we watched movies together,

Also you left your notebook for Algebra class with your handwriting.

I miss that.

I haven't slept or eaten in days

Not a day of my life will pass by that I forget.

This can't be happening!

Please, God, I can't take it anymore!

Justice!

Justice for you my love.

Why?

Why would they do such a thing to you?

No words can contain...Please...

Come back.

I love you...too much

To live without

You.

I love you.

..forever and always...

Remember?

Just like you said.