To Hell With It

Chapter Four - Heaven Can Wait

I’ve stopped crying by the time there’s a knock on the door. I push Jophiel away then, feeling awkward.

“Honey?” Mom calls, and she sounds a little worried. I wonder if she heard me crying. “I don’t think it’s a very good idea for you to go to school today, okay?”

I nod, clearing my throat before I muffle a “okay”, hoping my voice doesn’t break. If that happens, Mom will just rush through the door and try and hug me for half an hour, and I’ve filled my hug quota for this week, thanks.

“Well, I’m going to work now, bye, sweetheart!” I hear her shuffle away, and I let out a breath I hadn’t realised I was holding, turning to Jophiel.

“Right. So what happened?” I ask her, crossing my arms like she’s not a fucking billion-year-old other-species.

“When?” she asked, raising her eyebrows with a dazed smile.

“In 300 fucking B.C,” I say sarcastically, but she takes a breath and I wonder if she actually has a response to that.  “What happened last night with you and the weird lights?” I ask her before she says anything, rolling my eyes. She’s just so… so dumb. If it weren’t for the glass thing I probably wouldn’t believe a word she says.

I feel bad when her face crumples, and she bites her bottom lip, blinking a lot. She’s not going to start crying is she? I mean, I know I did, but… uh.

“I don’t know,” she mutters, looking around the room.

“What do you mean, you don’t know? You’re Heaven’s little delivery girl, aren’t you?” I say, but I can’t find it in me to be too mean. She looks like someone ran over her puppy.

“That wasn’t supposed to happen,” she said, staring at her bare feet.

“Okay,” I say, waiting for her to keep talking, but she just stands there, stock-still. “Do go on.”

“I’ve never been to Earth before. Angels appear before humans all the time, when they they are in real need of it, although most never realise they were in contact. Sometimes a big show is necessary, like for you. I was supposed to barely descend, talk to you, give you the necessary advice and then re-ascend to glory,” she looked back at me at the last part, eyes wide. She’s terrified, isn’t she?

“Re-ascend to glory, Jesus fucking Christ…” I mutter, shaking my head with a sigh. I see her visibly blanch out of the corner of my eye. She talks like she’s from a frickin’ Charles Dickens novel, and they are terrible. Just awful. “So why didn’t you… ‘re-ascend’?”

She shuffles her feet a little, and moves her arms behind her back, giving me the most awkward shrug I’ve ever seen in my life. She lifts her shoulders as far as they can go and forces them down, as if it’s something she’s never done before.

“Something went wrong,” she said, still with those puppy-dog eyes. I can already sense that any conversation with this girl will be entirely impossible. I motion with her to carry on with my hands, raising my eyebrows.

“I’m… I’m cut off. When I appeared unto you, I could hear clearly Ambriel’s voice in my head, talking me through everything. It was a shock to have her sole voice, we’re used to everyone whispering and communicating with each other constantly. Now… I can’t hear anyone but myself,” she said, her eyes shining with tears threatening to fall, breathing quicker and talking faster as she went on.

“So Scotty didn’t beam you up and now you’re missing the Collective…” I sigh, dragging a hand through my hair.

“What? I… I don’t… I don’t know what that...please, I just…” she babbled on and on as if I was holding her at knifepoint and yelling at her for money, and I feel absolutely awful. Her breathing quickens still and she looks like she’s drowning on land, when… oh my God. She’s having a panic attack!