Letters from Geffery the Oober Fat Giraffe

Letters from Geffery the Oober Fat giraffe.

Hello my name is Geffery I am an oober fat giraffe J first let me tell you about how I got fat.

One day, a looooong time ago, I was sitting in front of the TV. All of a sudden, an AD appeared on the screen. It said:

COME ONE, COME ALL, TO THE NATIONAL PIE EATING FESTIVAL. THERE WILL BE A CONTEST, WHERE WHOEVER EATS THE MOST PIE WILL WIN 50,000 DOLLARS. MUST BE 18 OR OLDER TO REGISTER. LOTS OF FUN, DON'T MISS IT! CALL US AT 1-800-PIE-FEST THAT's 1-800-PIE-FEST! DON'T WAIT, CALL NOW!

So I did. I told them my name was Geffery, I only weighed 350oz and I was 18 and 2 months. They said "Alright, we're located at TownOfPie, Illinois." So I called a cab. He came and picked me up. And I was off to TownOfPie!

But, I got overwhelmed with the pie. SO MUCH DELICOUS PIEEEEEEEE! (My favorite was the pumpkin pie, the chefs overdo themselves!;)

So.................... This is what I turned out like after the contest. (Fat)

Oh well. I'm a really chubby giraffe. Who cares? I'm good at scaring predators but people still think I'm cute. Who you ask?.........mommy says I'm cute.........do YOU think I'm cute?

Leave your comments bellow:

C-Hi I'm a zebra and I have to say this giraffe has gone over the edge by eating pie and becoming overweight. But........ yes he's still cute.

L-Hi I'm a zebra too, C's brother. And I think the giraffe is VERY over weight. But he's kinda cute, like 50/50.

T-Hi I'm an ostrich and I think this giraffe is not cute at all! And actually pretty scary when you look at him from a certain angle.. if you think he's cute, you need glasses. Comments anyone?

C-Your mean!!! I think he's CUTE. Just cause he's fat doesn't mean he's not cute! L back me up here!

L-Well you need BIG GRANDPA GLASSES IF YOU DON'T THINK HE'S CUTE! IN FACT YOU NEED A LIFE!

T-You wouldn't think he was cute anymore if he STEPPED ON YA!

C+L-WE WOULD FORGIVE HIM! YOU'RE A BITTER OSTRICH; GET LOST!

T-You just have BAD TASTE.

Woah, Woah, Woah. Guys, I appreciate the ones who are nice-but I don't like the fighting. I understand I'm fat. And I'm not cute to everyone. But, there's no need to fight! The only problem with being very fat:

I've been stuck here writing in between two palm trees for two weeks; I can't bend my neck down; and if you want to know any other problems I have, please comment bellow:

(G will answer questions.)

C-Well, that's too bad that you can't bend your neck and all. So, how do you get food, and water?

+everything. I had to use a helicopter to get him away and back home. But, back to the subject, I get the leaves, chop them up and put them in a blender to make a smoothie. The water? With a straw. So he drinks his food, too.

T-Hey, remember me the ostrich? How do you live your life Geffery, if you are so fat?

G-Well.......Trust me it's not easy for him. (Last question)

L-How does he walk?

G-He doesn't. His legs are stuck together. The fat on his legs became sweaty and stuck together like glue. We have a big trailer that carries him around everywhere. Back to you Geffery!

Okay. So, you guys asked good questions. Most of them, I'm embarrassed to answer. That's why my friend Giulia answered them. Did she mention she was my taxi (and helicopter) driver? After that, we became good friends. But no, we're not dating. More like really good friends. JUST friends. But I DO have a girlfriend. Well, I hugged her after the contest and I heard a glub-glub and I looked down and she was gone. Now I feel her floating around in my jiggly fat. Oh, but at least she's near me.

I miss her so much. Comments?

T-I'm surprised you got such a PURRTY lady!

G-Well, they have something in common. BOTH FAT! Hahahhhah.

C-I think she's really skinny-for a hippo-and she's CUTE!

L-She's really ,very, interesting.. In the good way.

T-I'm sorry about your girlfriend jiggling in your fat.

L-Oh. Did I mention she's HOT!?

Okay.. Enough flirting with MY girlfriend, who's JIGGLING in my fat. OO! She just kicked. OOOW. My stomach is hurting. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA PAAAAAAAAAIN GIULIA WE'RE GOIN TO THE HOSPITAL I'M GIVIN BIRTH!

WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?! YOU'RE A MAN..........UHHH.............GIRRAFFE !???!?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA GET IN THE CAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR

OKAY! WE'RE ON OUR WAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SHUUUUUT THE CAR DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRR

We have written the birthing scene because Geffery wasn't allowed to write while in labor.

Doctor: Well I'm afraid (since you're a male) we're gonna have to do liposuction first to make it easier to get your wife out.

Geffery: Ok..........OWWWWWWWWWWW

Doctor: Ok. First Anastasia to heal the pain.

Giulia: I got your hand Geffery. Don't yell.

Geffery:OOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.......ooo? Banana pudding...

Doctor: I have successfully inserted the Anastasia.

Giulia: Will I have to leave for the liposuction?

Doctor: Yes. It will be quick.

Doctor: Wife is out!!!!

Geffery: Hooray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE END