BAILEY LIKES CHEESE

CHApTER TWO

happy birthday meme rat.

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Bailey was v startled when she woke up and saw Cheesus. He was nothing like she expected. He was an onion, not a cheese. Plus he was white. Which made almost no senseZ. Since 1. He was middle eastern and 2. He was an onion.

Bailey buried her face in her hands and sighed, "FML for life."

Dan forced one of his hands between hers and screamed, "FML FOR LIFE!"

All of the sudden, everyone was uncontrollably crying. But no one could tell if it was because of the smell of onions or if it was because Sherlock series 4 was so terrible.

For about ten minutes, Cheesus, Bailey, and Dan kept shouting "FML for life." Until Bailey suddenly realized she was in love with Dan. Something about the way his hobbit hair framed his face and the fact that hE WOULDNT STOP YELLING CHEESUS HEIST*.

"Yo Dan." Bailey batted her eyelashes and twirled her hair and licked her lips and bit her lip and swayed her hips and did the Macarena.

"What now, not Phil?" Dan began to hover away on his hover board, but Bailey tugged his arm back.

"Ilysm." Bailey confesssed, "Love me forever daddy Danny."

"Kill yourself," Dan successfully hovered away this time, and Bailey watched as an equally awkward and tall cheese hovered in on his hover board. The two cheeses began to kiss and Bailey was heartbroken. Crackle! (That's the sound her heart made when it broke). "I'm getting married to Phil. Who's also a cheese. Even though that makes no sense since he as well is lactose intolerant. But #loveislove so no h8."

Bailey was about to argue, but she didn't want to be a hater. Danny boi was left, love is love." So she took the zipper on her lips and zipped it up. It was high key terrifying but Dan and Phil were too busy sucking each other's faces off (as usual) to notice and Cheesus was enjoying the view a bit too much. Bailey took the nearest bottle of lotion and hid it behind her back.

Just as Bailey was about to start recording Dan's tape, a new hot gay walked in in his place. Bailey suddenly forgot who Dan was.

"I'm Victor Nickifuckoff AKA ice daddy." The new dude said. His whole aura radiated gay, so Bailey was already in love with him (Molly 2.0), Ice Daddy reached his hand out to Bailey, "I'm going to be your new coach on how to not be a trick ass bitch."

*The Cheesus Heist was burglary carried out by Emma and Lily in 1734 where every cheese in Kentucky was taken hostage and murdered until the two ladies convinced Dr. Phil and Bill Nye to marry them. In the end, Philly and Billy committed soupicide (suicide by slurping too much soup).