White Dress (COMPLETE)

Sunrise

Microsoft Programs
Google Apps
InDesign
Try to understand social media platforms for once
Just get your life together, plz thnx

I tapped my pen against my notepad and looked up in thought. The end of my freshman year at Creen College was approaching faster than anticipated, and until two hours ago, I still had no idea what career field I was interested in. There were groans, huffs, and near tears, until I finally called my boyfriend asking for advice. He told me to make a list and take things one by one, to try not stress about the whole world in this one moment. Taking his advice, I started researching commonly desired internship skills, and slowly, the rock in my stomach lifted. I had a plan. Because with less than eight hours before I needed to register for my sophomore classes, I didn't have time or money to waste on a class that I didn't think I would benefit from in the long run.

Now I sit here on my bed encircled by my blankets and contemplating what skills I thought might be necessary for a career in publishing or editing. I recently declared an English major, but I hoped to add Creative Writing to the list soon. Sadly, I didn't think I could realistically have a solid income by simply writing books - at least not right away, and it was always good to be prepared.

I looked at the clock and saw that I have officially been on this same business for the past three hours.  With a sigh of relief at my progress, I jotted down my final decision on my next classes and carefully dropped my notebook and papers to the floor. I put my pen down and laid back against my cool pillows. I pulled the blankets to my chest and propped my laptop against my knees.

I opened up my messenger with my boyfriend and quietly began to type.

Hey Jeremy are you still awake?? I register tomorrow at 7, wanna get breakfast after? (:

The message sent with its familiar "swoosh" and I closed my eyes, waiting for a response.

"Are you done?" asked my roommate Nicole from across the room. I looked around my knees at her and nodded my head.

"Yeah, sorry that took me so long." I laid back down. "Trying to figure out your whole life at 1AM is a bit stressful."

She laughed. "It's totally fine. That was me last night." I heard the click of the light switch, and darkness blanketed the room.

"The perks of procrastination," I said into the dark room, watching the lingering glow of light dissipate. 

"Exactly," she responded, her voice quiet. I felt the pull of sleep start to fill my body, and after one last check on my empty messenger, I turned off my laptop. When the hum of the motor finally quit, I shut the screen and set it carefully down on my dresser next to my bed.

I rolled over on my side with my blankets pulled up to my neck and thought about home. I thought about the nights I would sleep in my parents' room and wake up the next morning to the soft glow of the sun soaking the room in its rays. I thought about my parents and how I was ready to go home after weeks of not seeing them.

I also thought about Jeremy, the sweet boy with the golden brown hair and a kind smile. I heard his goofy laugh in my head and saw his crooked smile. A small grin fell upon my lips. 

I found unconditional love in him. My smile turned with a slow ache. I finally found unconditional love, but where was the soaring urgency in my soul to be with him also? A deep guilt settled in my chest because I knew I loved him, but I also knew it was hard to love him.