Listen (JaDine AU)

When She Cries

James’s POV

They say she was my biggest mistake.

Maybe that’s so. But I don’t care. I’ve already missed her once; I won’t let that happen again... even when it hurts.

I really regret that day I introduced them to each other. I never knew Bret would fall for the girl I love. I never thought that she would fall for him, too.

I watched their love progress. I couldn’t really do anything. I can see how they love each other, how they are so happy together.

How can I break that? I love them both.

I wanted to give up on her, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to, but there was always that hope inside me that they would break up.

When Bret told me about his plan to propose, I died inside. I didn’t know how I reacted then but it seems Bret didn’t notice. I couldn’t really blame him, he was very happy.

I wanted to be happy for him, but I couldn’t lie to myself.

With a heavy heart, I helped him set up SGU’s rooftop. Everything was perfect.

But then Nadine rejected him. I felt bad when my spirits lift up then. Yassi ran after Nadine and I approached Bret. He was standing still, shocked. I hugged him then. I knew he needed that. He didn’t react. I still hugged him tight.

Nadine went to America, no doubt to escape from their memories.

Bret became different then. He was like a robot. He would smile to his fans during his shows but I knew it was just a façade. He was a broken man. I tried supporting him but I must admit I gave up on him after some time. This is because I knew that if it were me in his place, I wouldn’t have been able to move on.

But Yassi stayed by his side, and I’m very grateful for that. She helped him get back up his feet again and I could see Bret coming back bit by bit.

One night then, Bret approached me and said,

“I’m okay now.”

I smiled at him and said, “Welcome back,” as I mock punched him.

He started going out with Yassi then and I was glad to see him happy again.

Then Nadine came back. I thought this was my chance. I confessed to her the first chance I got. She rejected me.

I know she still loves him. Yassi said so during their drama’s launch. Yassi had asked me for advice. I couldn’t really give her any. I needed advice, too. Yassi and I were very much alike. She loved my best friend Bret, her best friend, Nadine’s lover, as I love Nadine.

Yassi was confused as to what to do when she discovered that Nadine still loved Bret after all this time. After Bret already moved on, after he already chose Yassi...

I insisted to Nadine that we try. I told her I’ll help her move on. She was hesitant, but in the end she agreed. I was so happy then. I knew I was just a rebound, but I have my chance.

We started going out. We really didn’t act like lovers, it was just like those days in SGU, it was just like I’m just her boyfriend’s best friend but I hardly care, being with her was already enough.

She tried to enjoy herself with me to not hurt me. I could tell. She was very much guarded. But I knew she was still hurting from what she’s been through. And I die each time I see those hurt eyes, knowing she’s crying inside.

After some time she warmed up to me. And I hoped again. Maybe I could have a part of her heart, even just a small part.

On my birthday,m, I profess my love to her. It was the first time I told her those three words.

She looked at me then, I couldn’t read her expression. Then she suddenly stood up and ran out of the restaurant, not saying anything. I couldn’t catch her.

I didn’t see her for days. I tried calling her, I went to her house and to her HQ but I didn’t meet her.

And then she sent me a text, asking me to meet up at the park. It was where we always hang out.

I went there at once. There were many people then but I saw her at once.

I approached her, I was about to asked her what happened but then she spoke,

“Let’s break up.”

My eyes widen.

“No.” I said reflexively. “No, don’t do this. Why? Do you still love Bret? It’s okay, I can live with that. Don’t break up with me, please. I’ll help you move on, I told you that.” I pleaded.

“James, this has already been so complicated. Let’s end it already.” Nadine said not looking at me.

“Why?” I asked once more. I couldn’t understand. “You still love him.” I assumed.

“No, I already moved on. But please, James, let’s end this before it’s too late.” She said.

“Why?!” I said furiously.

“I ruin everything!” She said and I was surprised that she was crying. “I ruined my relationship with Bret! I ruined Bret! I’ll ruin you!” She sobbed.

“Naddie...” I tried to touch her but she moved away.

“Please, James, let’s stop this... I’ll ruin you...” She repeated.

“You’ll ruin me if you leave me.”

She cried harder.

“I love you, Nad—“

“NO! Don’t say that! If I fall in too deep... I-I don’t want to... I-I’ll ruin you.” She sobbed harder.

I hugged her, she protested, but I didn’t care.

“I love you, I love you, I love you...” I told her repeatedly as she wept in my arms.

“No...” She said weakly. “...this was a mistake.” And we both dropped on the floor.

“Nadine, it won’t be the same. I’m not Bret... Please...”

She stopped protesting then, but she continued to cry, her hands were covering her face.

I held her hands and put them away from her face. I wiped her tears, but they continued flowing.

She looked at me. I didn’t know what got in to me, but when she looked at me like that, I lost myself.

I kissed her.

She sobbed harder but after a while, she responded to my kiss.

I moved away, I wiped her face again. She was still crying.

“I love you, Naddie.” I said firmly.

She didn’t say anything, just looking at me, tears still freely falling.

I held her face so she would look at me. She looked scared but she didn't look away.

"I love you." I repeated. "I think everyone would get hurt by someone at least once in their life. Love is a risk, after all." I told her.

She started crying again, but I held her gaze, and smiled.

"And if you ruin me, what an honor it would be."

---

I don't know how she takes it
Just once, I'd like to make it
Then there'll be tears of joy
That fill her lovin' eyes

When she cries at night
And she doesn't think that I can hear her
She tries to hide
All the fear she feels inside

So I pray this time
I can be the man that she deserves
'Cause I die a little each time
When she cries