Forgetting Love

14

*Ashton's POV*

A cheer erupts from downstairs. I hear my younger brother, Zach, cheering the loudest of all of them. After all he is Michigan's biggest fan. Today is the big game. Michigan is facing off against Ohio State. My guess is that Michigan somehow pulled out a win.

They're still going crazy. I groan and cover my ears. How can they be so excited over something that means so little? A year ago I would've been down there partying with everyone, but now I have bigger things on my mind. My whole life doesn't revolve around partying and football anymore. I wanted to make something out of myself. I wanted to be remembered for doing something no one thought possible.

But even that doesn't matter to me now. Only one thing does. I'm always angry at life. I'm upset that I couldn't do anything to help Morgan. I got there to late. All because I had to stop for a burger at McDonald's.

That day comes back to me in flashes. The images are always lingering somewhere in my mind. I try to forget, to move on, but you simply can't forget what I saw. All you want to do is set things right. I just want to help get her back. I feel like I owe it to her.

I owe revenge on the jerk that kidnapped her.

Just then, my door slams open and my brother comes running in my room. He jumps up and down on my bed excited. His caramel brown hair bounces and his light blue eyes shine. He looks a lot like me, but he's only 15 and isn't nearly as good looking. "You should've seen it!" He exclaims. "We were down 5 with 6 seconds to go. Then we threw up a Hail Mary and scored the winning touchdown! I can't believe it!" He fist pumps the air in excitement.

I look at him in annoyance. He knows he shouldn't be here. There's a reason I was up here all alone in the first place. I just need time to think. His face falls when he notices my silence. "What are you doing in here?" I sigh.

"Oh I'm- uh- sorry," he stutters. "I just uh kinda forgot- I'll just be going then." He slumps his shoulders and walks out the door.

I feel guilty. We used to be really close. After what happened 3 weeks ago, I've been distancing myself from everyone. It really isn't fair to them. I just don't know what else to do. "Zach?" I call out in instinct. He's my little brother. I can't let him down to much.

It must be hard for him to see me like this. Even though I'm trying to outcast myself from everyone, he is still trying to include me. Although everyone else has given up, he won't. That's part of the reason he and I have always been so close. We understand each other in a way no one else can. I love him for it. Even if he is a pain in the neck sometimes.

He pops his head in the door, eyes wide. He's frowning which makes him look younger than he is. "What?" He sighs sadly. He probably thinks I'm going to yell at him some more. Well not today.

I smile. It makes all the difference for him. His face instantly lights back up. "Go Blue," I say.

"Yeah," he smiles. "Go Blue." He goes back downstairs and I'm left alone again. Left to my own thoughts. My own memories that just won't leave me alone. It's like running from your shadow. You can never fully get away. It's always with you, lingering in your subconscious until you finally notice it. Whether I like it or not, this is part of me now. I can never take back what I saw.

So instead of trying to hide from the memory, I decide it is time to embrace it. I just can't put it off any longer.

I'm finally getting to Morgan's apartment. I really hate all of this traffic. It feels like I got stuck at every red light possible. Today hasn't been the greatest.

I park my baby away from all of the other cars. I don't want her to get a scratch on her sleek paint job. The air is chilly and getting colder as the evening goes on. This is going to be a rough winter. I can already tell.