Describing this dinner was not hard to do. It was not awkward. It was not fun. The food was very good, but also expensive. Throughout the whole dinner we talked about Colgate college and what new york it like, even though he had been there many times before and if i was excited for my junior year, and how super and awesome it was to be a senior. I never in my life time want to do it again. But when we got to Toby's house i said " That was great!" Even though it was not at all 'great' more like tolerable, if that. " We should totally do that again." i said looking at Toby before darting into the bathroom. I could totally tell that Toby knew i was being nice about it and really just wanted to please my mother. I only said this of coarse because my mother and his parents were in the room. And i was pretty sure the two of us, Toby and I, were on the same page.
After i got out of the shower, and into my purple fluffy shorts that said cheer on the butt and a plain black T-shirt, Toby came into my room. He was trying to impersonate me, making his voice all high and using a weird ' New York' accent. " Yeah umm," he paused and i sat up on the bed. " it was totally great and like we should totally do it again totally." He laughed for a minute or so then took a seat next to me on the bed laughing and laying down on his back.
i stood. and he sat up as i stood to say "One," I started. " I do not sound like that, my voice is rather deep for a girl." I sat back down nect to him." Two i totally don't say totally that much." i smiled at him.
He laughed again then patted my thigh. "Oh but on the contrary," he was speaking normal now. "you totally say totally too much. " I rolled my eyes at this and he just looked at me. We where sitting really close our legs touching and his hand still on my thigh. " but," he said looking down at his hand or my thigh and then back up at me, " i do like your voice." And i just didnt say anything.
Then suddenly he was kissing me. He was good at kissing, he used tongue and he didn't let his teeth get in the way, his lips were soft and tasted minty and i enjoyed it but yet for some reason i pushed him a way. He opened his eyes and stared at me for a few moment. "What?" he said as if confused.
"Well," i said " you know how i feel."
" Alright than." He pushed himself off the bed and walked to the door. He slammed it.
Toby was always some what of a hot head when i came to not getting what he wants. I don't understand why after 17 years of knowing me that now he wants me. Now, he wants me most likely because he must please his paarents and if he has to love me and marry makre me love him to please his parents then you can bet a pretty penny he will do just that.
I mean i am not ugly or anything but we are totally different people and i dont really se any benefit for himself other then pleasing his parents and irritating me. Well now that i am thinking about it maybe were not that different. I am a cheer leading, I'm not captain but i am not bad at it, i mean cheerleaders and football captains always end up together in all the movies. i do get very good grades, not all A's but never any lower then a B. And i am sure if i dated him he'd fix that but tutoring me or like giving me one of his brilliant papers. I'm not class president but i am the treasurer so that's leadership. However, i am an art person, mainly photography, and painting, i mean who am i kidding i love all art. i don't want to marry a doctor or a lawyer i want to go to college then travel the world with the peace corp, i guess a doctor or a lawyer could travel but mainly he would be stationary. I also play soccer, he plays soccer in the summer, i remember because we went to a soccer camp one summer and this year he worked as a camp teacher for some more summer cash even tho he made more than most highschoolers with his Holister Modeling set up. But thats not enough to be good at something he has to be the best at everything.
This whole thing got me thinking about all the reasons it wouldn't work. And the reasons it would work, i hate to admit it but sometimes i wonder what would have happend. And i just got frustrated with the whole situation. So finally after about an hour of thinking i ran down to the basement to Toby's room. When Toby was in 8th grade Liam and him got into a huge fight and decide to not shared a room anymore. The next year for Toby's birthday his parents redid the basement to turn it into a room for Toby. Liam kept there old room on the first floor.
Anyways I went down there to talk to him. It was dark out side so the windows didn't provide any light. I walked down the stairs to see my mother, Hannah and his parents in the living room, watching some movie. i quickly walked to the door of the stairs and let myself in. I could smell weed from half way down the stairs. " Nice," i said when i came to bottom of the steps and saw him holding a joint in his mouth and a controller in his hands. " Does daddy know that his perfect son smokes in his spare time."
" Shut up!" He yelled smashing his controller on the ground. " Shut up ok" He took a few steps closer to me and now he was like a foot away screaming in my face. " Shut up! You have no idea how hard it is to be perfect, You don't understand how stressed i am. Seriously you cant judge me for this." he started to get quiter. " You can't" his voice was quite and weak and then i saw tears in his eyes and on his cheeks, so i just hugged him. When he pulled away i took the joint out of his hand and put it out in a near by plant or what was left of the wilted thing.
He walked over and sat on the floor next to his bed. " I wish i could just be a fuck up, ya know?"
"Oh Toby," I said as i followed him to the bed, and sat on the bed instead of then floor. " If you were a fuck up, you'd be saying i wish i wasn't a fuck up." He laid his head on my lap and i put my hand in is hair. I slid myself on to the floor and leaned my back against the bed. Toby held up the weight of his own head while i did this then as soon as i was seated next to him he laid his head on my shoulder.
" I know" He said. I just leaned my head back on to his.
